Ahoy there PANTS!
by Raptor-Elephant
Summary: Sequel to ‘You’re the PANTS that I want’ but not completely necessary to have read it. Georgia returns from having been away at college to experience romance, crazy friends and family and a Viking wedding! It certainly wont be quiet! Very Gee/Dave. R & R.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Sequel to 'You're the PANTS that I want'. Not necessary to have read the first to read this one, but recommended as mentions will be made towards it.

You're the PANTS that I want. 

Georgia and Dave, after great difficulty, finally managed to get together and become a very happy couple. However their happiness was short lived and their relationship did not survive very long at all. Dave decided it was too hard to trust Georgia and the pair decided it best to break up – after all, what's the use of a relationship without trust?

Ahoy there PANTS!

Georgia, now nineteen, returns home after having left for college two years ago. It's the first time she's returned back since she left.

Just so you know... Libby is around eight in this.

Review?

**Ahoy there PANTS!**

**One**

**JULY**

Saturday

**10.30 am**

Up at the crack of 10.30. Far too early in my opinion. Even if it is the day I return home.

I'm pretty excited actually. I mean, I'll miss the college gang, _a lot_, but I'm looking forward to seeing the original Ace Gang, as well as my family, especially Libby.

I haven't seen them in a while, I hear Libs has become quite the handful. She must take after me. My little protegee!

**11.00**

'You'll phone, right?' Reb demanded as I said goodbye to the college lot. I laughed and nodded at the blonde. I'm sure she was almost at the Nervy B stage. 'Promise,' she continued. 'If you don't I'll duff you up!'

'Calm down, you lessie!' I laughed. 'Of course I'll phone. Everyday.'

'Everyday?' Mark repeated blankly. 'Honestly, you girls and phones, I'll never understand it.'

'I don't think we're meant to, mate,' Joe chuckled, pulling me into a bone crushing hug. Reb, Alice, Mark, Joe and Steve have been like family to me since I arrived at college. They remind me so much of the Ace Gang back home (except the fact that the original Ace Gang were all girls – I'm not sure they would appreciate the comparisons).

Reb is Jas, except a newer model. She's what a best friend should be, without the stupid, annoying fringe, and nature loving.

Alice is Roro, without Sven and a Viking fetish. Speaking of Rosie and Sven, the wedding is coming up. As soon as Rosie turns nineteen (which is vair soon) it will be Viking wedding galore! Of course, as the most amazing one (and leader) of the gang, I shall be the maid of honour. But back to Alice; she looks quiet but I learnt the hard way otherwise.

Mark would be Ellen, if he were a girl, and a total dither spaz – which he is not, though that's hardly the point.

Joe would be Mabs, the all round good egg. There for a chat when needed, and provider of an insight into the crazy male mind, because baby J only knows, we need one.

Steve... Steve's not really Jools, although I suppose the comparison can be made. No, Steve's more like Dave the laugh, which is probably what attracted me to him. He's definitely the most groovy looking out of all the college boys, and believe you me, there was a lot of groovy looking guys.

'As your official, self proclaimed mistress, I am disgusted that you would even consider leaving. Saying that, I suppose you have a lot of amigo's to return to. So, as I hate goodbye's, give us a snog and be gone!' Alice declared. I looked at her in surprise, she looked completely serious! Seeing my face, a large grin spread across her freckled face.

'You lessie!' I laughed, hugging her.

'S'not my fault,' she chuckled. 'I simply can't resist you, Gee!' I rolled my eyes and pushed her away from me. 'I can't decide whether it's your gigantic conk, or those amazing nunga-nungas!'

'Definitely the nunga-nungas!' a new voice chimed in from behind. I smiled – sucking in my nose – and turned to fling myself in Steve's arms. He seemed slightly taken back, but then smiled – phorr! 'Alright, Gee! I'll miss you too!' And then he snogged me (number 6!) right in front of the gang. A small part (a **VERY** small part) of me was screaming to pull away. We had agreed that it was best to end it. I was returning home, he was going to Hamburger-a-go-go-Land, it wouldn't work.

Another part – the louder and more dominant part – was screaming that I shouldn't care. He is such a good kisser, _and_ he lip nibbles!!!!

'Some of us would like to keep our breakfast,' Joe smirked, breaking the two of us up. Alice duffed his arm up playfully.

'Sorry,' I grinned, untangling myself from the gorgey-ness that is Steve.

'Is it my turn now?' Joe asked, winking at me. It was my turn to duff him in the arm. 'I was talking to Steve,' he protested with a grin.

I rolled my eyes. Honestly, if I keep it up, my eyes are going to be in constant roll mode. They may never stop.

Suddenly I was sniffing, trying to bite back tears.

'I suppose this is goodbye,' I mumbled.

'Not for good,' Reb assured me.

'Of course not,' Mark agreed.

'Good. We'll have to meet up. I love you guys!'

**6 mins later**

Surly there's a world record for how long a group hug can last?

**11.00 pm**

Yawn.

I must be nearly home now.

I hope Mutti and Vati have not moved house. That would be so typical. I could just imagine opening the front door to find the Adam's family or some other group of nutcases in the front room.

Wait, that would be them then.

I can't belive I'm willingly choosing to return back to the mad house.

I suppose it'll be a nice break from the crazyness of college.

**10 mins later**

I know where I am! I don't think I've ever felt to relieved to recognise something in my entire life!

**1 min later**

I do hate driving when I'm tired.

The novelty of being able to drive wore off very quickly. Still, it should be a pleasant surprise to Mutti and Vati. I didn't tell them in case they insisted on me driving down each weekend to visit.

**4 mins later**

And I'm... wait for it... home!

I wonder if there'll be any food in the house?

I quite fancy some Jammy Dodgers.

Wait... of course there wont be any bloody food! This is home I'm talking about!

**1 min later**

I'm rather nervous now. Should I knock? Or just walk in?

I didn't tell them I was coming up today – that would have ruined the surprise.

In fact, I think I told them I was coming home next week.

Oops?

**30 secs later**

To knock or not to knock, that is the question.

**2 mins later**

Aha! I've got the perfect idea!

As I have been away for over two years I'm sure the olds have missed me doing this. I think they'll appreciate this.

**30 secs later**

Deep breath.

And open the door.

'Hello Georgia darling! Welcome home! Did you have fun? Come and sit down, I shall make you a lovely beef stew!' I shouted as I walked into the house.

Vati walked into the hall wearing far less than he should ever wear in front of his nineteen year old daughter. I think he's put on some weight. But he still has his pet badger on the end of his chin.

Good days.

'Close the bloody door,' he groaned, before walking into the kitchen.

Huh?

I blinked like a blinky thing that blinks.

Did I miss something?

Shouldn't he be ecstatic to see his oldest daughter home safe and sound?

**30 secs later**

Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha.

Vati just backtracked, looked at me, blinked and then shouted to Mutti that their fabulous eldest daughter has just walked into the house.

Mutti rushed down the stairs in see through pyjamas – nothing's changed there then.

'Georgia! Oh! My little girl has come home! Bob, oh Bob, isn't this fantastic?!' Mutti gushed as she hugged me.

Sigh.

Strangely enough, it's good to be home.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Gah, sorry it's taking me so long to update. I've been busy. Thank you soooooo so much for all the lovely reviews! Keep it up guys!

**Ahoy there PANTS!**

**Two**

**Sunday**

**11.00 am**

Blimey O'Reilly's trousers! The Ace Gang have landed!

Apparently the olds phoned Jas this morning whilst I was still in boboland, and, being radio Jas, she informed the whole gang.

I have to say, I'm extremely pleased to see them! We've been hugging for the last half an hour! Even Sven and Tom are messed up in the group hug somewhere, and Libby too, I believe!

**20 mins later**

We're all in my room with snacks. Mutti went and brought some Jammy Dodgers, yummy.

'So, what's been going on down this end of Billy Shakespeare land?' I asked the gang as we munched away.

Immediately, Jas launched into mole woman mode.

'It's been amazing. Me and Tom have spent a lot of time on rambles, haven't we Tom? Oh! And did you know that we discovered a new king of moss-'

Rosie politely put her hand over Jas's mouth. It's good to see that Rosie still has her fake fur. A Rosie without her fur would be unimaginable.

'Basically,' Mabs started, smiling gratefully at Rosie who was still silencing oh fringy one. 'We've just been sixth form, snogging, sixth form, gig, snogging, and wedding planning.'

I nodded wisely.

'You have been making good use of time,' I appraised them, taking another bite of my jammy dodger.

'About the wedding planning,' Rosie began from her place in her own personal seat (Sven).

'Yes! Tell me all the gos!' I began excitedly.

'Well, basically it's Viking themed...'

I rolled my eyes in exasperation.

'Yes, I know that.'

'And well...'

Why do I get the feeling she is trying to tell me something important?

'I am still maid of honor?' I asked hopefully. Roro nodded

Phew. It would have been call for major duffing up, had she of said no.

'Well, basically,' Rosie tried again. 'Really, though, if you want to blame anyone, blame Sven...'

'Rosie, what in the name of pantyhose are you on about?!' I demanded. She was acting like Ellen, and even Ellen doesn't act like Ellen anymore. No longer is she a dithering idiot.

'Well...' She took a deep breath, but in doing so she let go of Jas, who spat out what Rosie was trying so carefully to word.

'Dave is going to be best man!'

**20 secs later**

Best Dave man? Man best Dave? Best man Dave???!!

**10 secs later**

What?!

**20 secs later**

Deep breath Georgia.

I can be mature about this.

It's not like I still like Dave. Much.

I've hardly thought of him while I was away. Unless you count every single night, most mornings and some afternoons.

See, hardly thought of him.

**1 sec later**

Oh hell. I'm screwed!

**30 secs later**

'Why would I be bothered if Dave's best man? I'm a mature adult, I can work with him to whatever extent is needed.'

The Ace Gang didn't look fooled.

'Well, good for you!' Jools said brightly, slurping her coke in a rather unlady like way. Not that it matters, as we are all girls here – except Tom and Sven, of course.

'Well, I'm glad that's sorted!' Rosie grinned, jumping to her feet. 'Now, I think this calls for a lets go down to the disco – we haven't done one in ages!!'

**2 hours later**

The let's go down to the disco dancing did help to take my mind from Dave, especially when Sven thew my over his shoulders and shouted 'Oh Ja Ja! HORN!!!'

**10 mins later**

Mutti and Vati have gone out. Even the kitty cats are out.

Libby is around somewhere. Probably in her old favourite hiding place, the airing cupboard.

I might check.

Not that I'm lonely or anything...

**1 min later**

She's not there. I wonder where she can be?

_CRASH_.

Oh. Mutti's bedroom it is then.

**30 secs later**

I swear, Libby is still the little kid I left. She can't be eight. Since when do eight year olds make themselves look like vair scary clowns?

'Libs, what are you doing?' I asked, trying not to laugh at her completely, chalk white face with bright pink cheeks and red lips. Wait... I saw a film with something like this, she doesn't look like a clown, more like a Geisha.

I think I preferred the clown.

'Ginger, I'm making myself like that film.'

Honestly, what have the olds been letting her watch?

'Libby, you don't want to look like a Geisha,' I told her sternly. 'And Mutti is going to kill you – or me – when she get's back and sees this mess.'

'I was bored,' she shrugged, looking oddly grown up, despite her make up chose. Actually, it looks pretty professional. Maybe Libs is going to have a good career as a beautician ahead?

That would be double cool with knobs.

'Well why don't we do something? We could go for a walk? Or a swim?'

'Let's go for a walk,' she decided.

'Right, but first you have to clean up.' She looked down at the mess in disgust and we both shrugged and laughed. Let Mutti be mad, there was no way in hell that I was cleaning up. I tossed Libby a face wipe and she cleared the make up from her face.

Oh, I really have missed Libby.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews! Keep it up!! =D

And so, Dave makes his grand appearance!

Review x

**Ahoy there PANTS**

**Three**

**In the Park**

**2pm**

'So Jas has been looking out for you?' I asked Libby as we walked along the grass in the park. Libby had been telling me all about her time while I had been away. Apparently she had been having a bit of trouble with some miniature Bummer twins who had been calling her weird and throwing pencils at her (I ask you! Eight years olds are so strange!)

'Yup,' she nodded. 'And Dave.' I froze, stopping mid step to look at her. Did she just say Dave, as in Dave Dave? As in Dave the Laugh Dave?!

'Dave?' I repeated quietly.

'Yes, he's nice,' she continued, oblivious to my shock as she began skipping on the spot.

'You've seen Dave?'

'Yup,' she popped the 'p' in that annoying way that annoying people like to do.

Oh my giddy gods trousers. Dave the Laugh has been looking out for Libby?

**10 secs later**

Wait. Does that mean he likes me?

He doesn't like Libby does he? Eww that would be wrong on so many levels.

**20 secs later**

'He gives me sweets.' He gives her sweets?

He gives Libby sweets and me a broken heart. How charming.

Très charmant.

**30 secs later**

'There he is now.' There is no- wait what!?

She's right as well! Dave is playing footie with his mates. Phorr! If possible he looks even groovier than when I left him.

Bad, _bad_, **bad** mind!

I mustn't think about Dave. I must be très sophistic and ignore-vous him.

**30 secs later**

'DAVEEY!!!'

Honestly, does Libby have no pride?

Wait.

No!

She didn't… she did not just call him over. She couldn't have done.

**5 secs later**

Then why is he walking over?

**2 secs later**

'Hey Libs!' he greeted her, crouching down to her height.

Libs? I ask you!

'How are you today? The mini Bummers stopped bullying you?' Awe, he is so sweet to her! And he is completely ignoring me. Not that it matters, as I am ignoring him. We are ignoring each other. Like ignore-y things.

Shut up brain!

'Yup, thank you!' she smiled a huge, toothy smile that reminded me instantly of when she was younger.

And then he straightened out and looked at me.

Oh my baby J, I think I may have just died.

'Hi Georgia, long time no dig.'

'Oh, hi Dave.' How cool was that?! Urba cool. I am the queen of cool, that is me!

'It's good to see you back, that large conk of yours has been missed.' Wait, was that him saying that **he** missed me, or just that I have been missed generally.

Ah, I am full of confusion.

And how dare he call my nose big! I know it is big, but he has no right to – Ooh he has a dreamy smile.

**1 min later**

Dave should not be having this effect on me.

He is not a Sex God, nor a Luuurve God. He's just Dave. Dave the I-don't-fancy-you-Dave-anymore Dave.

Besides, Steve is my one and only, even if we are no longer a couple and I probably wont see him again for years.

'How was college?'

College? Did I go to College?

'Erm…'

Ah! College!

'Oh yes! Yes it was good thanks.' Dave laughed at me, even now he seems to know me too well.

'You've not changed,' he told me, his grin growing smaller, but not fading completely.

'Still the same old Sex Kitty.' OK, I did **not** just say that! Please tell me I didn't just say that?!

Luckily, Dave just smiled.

'So I see,' he replied in his dreamy voice. 'Well, I should get back to the game, the lads will be missing my handsome face.' He sounded torn somehow, but I put that down to my imagination.

'I'm away laughing on a fast camel, ciao!' he waved at me and Libby and he jogged back to the lads.

That… that didn't go so bad…

**1 sec later**

I am doomed!

Utterly, utterly doomed.

How am I going to survive Rosie's wedding when I can't even spend five minutes in front of Dave without acting like a fool on fool tablets?

**1 min later**

'Libby, I am doomed.'

'I know,' she replied in that strange grown up way she has.

Charming…


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **I have been seriously slacking on writing anything recently. Hopefully it won't last too much longer, but you never know. Don't worry through, I still try and update this weekly, or near enough weekly. - sorry about the length - I'll try make chapter five longer, but no promises.

Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter.

Keep it up and review this one! :)

Oh… **Disclaimer** – I don't own and never will. I do however, own Reb, Alice, Mark, Joe, Steve and Hollie – as well as the plot line.

**Ahoy there PANTS!**

**Four**

**3.30**

**Phoned Jas**

'Jas, it's me.'

'It is?'

'_Oui_.'

'Oh.'

'Jas, its Georgia you pillock!'

'Oh!' Gosh, she's still as dense as always, I'll give her that. At least she's been looking out for Libby, that was nice of her.

'What do you want Gee? Only, Tom and me are about to go on a ramble, you remember how we like our rambles, don't you? Well, we found this new area where we can see badgers and – '

Drone on, oh droney one.

**3 billion years later**

' – and we saw some foxes! They are amazing! The vixen was all – '

' – Very nice, Jas,' I interrupted, for the good of the universe. 'Anyway, I was phoning to tell you how doomed I am.'

'Doomed?' she repeated. I could just see her playing with her fringe.

'Jas, stop playing with your fringe,' I told her.

Silence.

'Jas?'

Silence.

'JAS! I told you to stop playing with your fringe! Not to stop bloody talking to me!'

'Sorry, I was just wondering if you had a touch of the mystic Meg to you,' Jas told me. Honestly, how dense is she? She is so obvious that someone like the Queen, who has never met her, and probably never will, would be able to predict her.

I wonder what Jas and the Queen would do? Discuss moles and moss?

Probably not.

'Anyway, I ran in to Dave the Laugh earlier,' I told Jas.

'Oh.' She's a lot of help, isn't she?! Not!

'Jas, what's with the "oh"? Can't you say something sensible, like "are you alright? Did he return your heart?" or something similar?'

'Well, did he?'

'No,' I replied sadly. My run in with Dave had shown me that I was still very much in love with my ex Hornmeister. But, I mean, that's alright, right? The whole idea of me going away for College was to grow up so that Dave and I could have a proper relationship. I had never intended to get over Dave during my time away.

So why do I feel like I'm about to have a major Nervy B?

Poo and triple merde.

'Jas, is he single?'

**20 mins later**

**In my bed of pain**

Dave _is_ single.

But (there's always a but!) he's just come out of a serious relationship with some girl called Hollie and wants a break away from girls altogether.

Jas so nicely put (nicely? Ha!) that I should stay away from him at all costs if I don't want to hurt him. I think her exact words were 'you're incapable of being near Dave without hurting him. If you care for him, let him be.'

Who is this Hollie anyway?!

How dare she hurt my Dave?!

**Monday**

**10 am**

I'll tell you who Hollie is! Libby's baby sitter!

'Gee, sweetie. Your father and I are going out tonight,' Mutti said. I swear that top she is wearing is one of the ones I left behind. It barley contains her nunga nungas!

'You want me to baby sit Libs?' I asked, rooting through the cupboards for some food – good luck there, since when has this house ever had any food?!

'No need, when you left we got in this new girl. Libby seems quite taken with her. Her names Hollie Ashcraft, do you know her?' Mutti adjusted her nunga nungas, looking vair attractive as she did so – I think not.

'Nope,' I replied, popping the p as I unearthed some Jammy Dodgers.

'I was a bit unsure about her to start of with, especially when she turned up with her boyfriend, but Libby absolutely adores Dave…'

Dave?! As in Dave Dave? So wait! Libby's baby sitter is Hollie?!

'You know Dave, don't you, Gee?' Mutti continued, oblivious to my sudden realization. 'Didn't _you_ date him at one point?'

I didn't answer; I just munched away on my Jammy Dodger, hoping that the sugar would help.

**7 pm**

Someone's knocking on the door. I bet its Hollie.

'Gee, can you get that? It's probably Hollie!' Mutti called from her bedroom. Grumbling under my breath I walked to the door and opened it.

Hollie's very pretty girl, I'll give her that. And she has blonde hair! Blonde!

'You must be Georgia,' she said with a large, friendly smile. 'It's lovely to meet you at last.'

'…Yeah,' I mumbled, letting her into the house.

'I'm Hollie,' she told me, as if that wasn't obvious.

'Yup,' I agreed. 'Mutti and Vati should be down in a min. Baby J only knows where Libs is.'

'Libby talks like you,' Hollie said, trying to make conversation. I'm guessing she noticed the less that friendly way I was acting towards her. 'With the whole Mutti and Vati thing…'

'Really?' I asked, uninterested. Just then Mutti flew down the stairs.

'Ah, Hollie! Good to see you! No Dave tonight?' Honestly, she has no pride.

'I'm afraid Dave and I broke up,' Hollie told her. She didn't sound as sad as one would expect.

'That's a shame. Say, did I ever tell you that our Georgia dated Dave a couple of years back?' Kill me now…

Hollie turned to eye me suspiciously. I shrugged and picked up my coat.

'I'm going for a walk,' I mumbled. 'Have a nice time out,' I said to the olds as Vati stumbled down the stairs looking ridiculous.

**10 mins later**

Stupid Hollie.

Stupid Dave.

Stupid Mutti…

**1 min later**

First thing tomorrow I'm going to Boots to get some blonde hair dye.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **DAVENESS!!! Lol.

Thanks for the reviews, keep it up, mon pallys! =D

**Ahoy there PANTS!**

**Five**

**2 mins later**

Who does Hollie think she is anyway? Acting as if she's my best friend the moment she meets me.

And she clearly didn't know about me and Dave, which means Dave had never told her about me…

'Oi oi! If it isn't Georgia! You're looking hot!' I looked up abruptly.

Why do you hate me God?

'How about showing us your knockers?' Mark Big Gob called from where he stood with his bunch of sadistic mates and crappy bikes. They're probably on cat patrol, or some other 'guy' thing.

'Sure,' I called back. Their faces lit up.

'Really?' Honestly, you'd never guess he's in his twenties now; he acts like an eager fourteen year old. It's pathetic!

'No! Tatty bye!' I called, and just because my mood called for it, I blew him a kiss before walking off.

'Still a tease huh, Gee?' I almost jumped out of my skin as I span around to see Dave the Laugh leaning casually against a tree, smirking at me.

Why is he here? And since when?? He wasn't there a minute ago!

'Dave, you scared the life out of me!' I gasped, clutching my heart.

'Gee, your hearts the other side…' Dave pointed out, walking over to me.

'Right, I knew that,' I shrugged. Damn Dave and his intelligence. Damn him and his groovy looks! Just damn Dave…

**2 secs later**

'It's not like the Georgia I remember to be out alone,' Dave commented as he reached me.

'I could say the same about you,' I shrugged, hoping my voice came out more casual than it sounded to me.

'Mm…'

'Your girlfriend just arrived at my house to baby sit.' I don't know why I said that. I shall be the last to know, as usual.

'Ah, you know about Hollie then?' he asked. 'We broke up.'

'Sorry,' I mumbled, not in the least bit sorry – and didn't Dave just know that. He shrugged as if it were no big deal.

'It happens.'

'I heard it was serious,' I pointed out, hoping that I was not overstepping the mark. At his confused expression I added 'Radio Jas.'

'Ah, I should have guessed.' He smirked and walked over to the nearest bench, sitting down. I watched him for a moment, unsure, before joining him.

'I hear you're best man at the Viking wedding,' I said awkwardly, changing the subject because it looked as if Dave didn't particularly want to talk to me about Hollie.

'Well naturally Sven had to choose the best looking and funniest man for the job,' Dave said cheerfully, looking glad for the change of subject.

'I'm sure,' I laughed, rolling my eyes lightly. Dave poked me playfully, making me have to ignore the butterflies in my stomach.

'So, Miss Georgia, you never told me what College was like.'

'It was okay,' I shrugged. 'I had a bunch of great friends, who I hope I shall get to see again soon.'

'Boyfriend?' Dave asked casually. My heart sunk at his tone, he didn't sound jealous or anything of the sort. He just sounded curious, like a curious friend would be.

'Yeah,' I admitted, somewhat reluctantly. 'His name was Steve.'

'Groovy,' Dave said. I laughed at the randomness in his tone. 'So, do you reckon Rosie will be wearing a beard for her wedding?'

'Are you serious?' I laughed. 'Of course she bloody will!'

'Nuts, that one,' Dave chuckled.

'Have you only just realized?' I asked in mock surprise. Dave clutched his chest in dramatic horror.

'Why! Just because I'm not as clever as you, or as observant, or as… PANTS!' then he poked my nose and ran away. I stared at him in confusion for a moment before chasing after him.

**10 mins later**

_Huff… puff…_

Ugh! Running after Dave has shattered me. And it doesn't help that he's laughing at me like a loon on loon tablets.

'Gosh Gee,' he teased. 'Tired already?'

'Shut… it…' I said between breaths. I'm sure looked very attractive right now, not! I bet I look like a red faced loon.

'You look like a red faced loon,' Dave said.

Oh, marvy!

**4 mins later **

Phew, I can finally breathe again. Dave and I are sitting cross legged on the grass facing one another.

'Still obsessed with pants then?' I asked Dave.

'Yup, and if you say that you're not, I will be forever mortally offended.'

'Don't get your pants in a twist,' I smirked. 'I'm still near enough the same Georgia I was before.'

'Near enough?' Dave questioned.

'Well, I like to think I have matured some what,' I shrugged, feeling slightly awkward with the way our conversation had started to turn. I really didn't want to admit that I felt like I would be able to commit my entire self, pinkie finger and all, to Dave.

'I'm sure you have,' he smirked.

'What's that supposed to mean?' I questioned. Dave shrugged and started playing with the long grass.

'Nothing,' he shrugged, a light smile playing on his lips. 'Anyway, what say we head to yours? I have to give Hollie something.'

At the mention of Hollie my heart sunk. Having Dave come round mine sounded heavenly, but having Dave come round mine to see _her_ didn't sound so good. Dave seemed to notice my expression.

'She's really nice, you know,' he told me. 'Not really my type, but nice.' My heart lifted ever so slightly at his words and I nodded.

'Sure. I haven't observed her baby sitting skills yet anyway, I wanna make sure she's right for the job.' Dave laughed and climbed to his feet, holding out his hand to pull me up. The butterflies in my stomach practically exploded out of me as our hands touched.

**2 mins later**

'Wait,' I said as we were walking along. 'If she's not your type, why did you date her?'

Dave laughed at my question, and I'm sure, as my (ex)Hornmeister, he was able to see my jealously.

'She was a nice girl, pretty too,' he shrugged.

'Oh, I see,' I said, not really seeing at all. 'Dave?' I asked, nervously.

'Yeah?'

'You know… back… then?' I asked, hoping he'd know what I meant. He nodded, understanding.

'That time in the park?' he asked, just to clarify.

'Yeah.'

'I'm sorry about that Gee, I know I hurt you a lot.' I nodded, wishing I hadn't stared up the awkward conversation.

'That's ok though,' I told him. 'I just… I wanted to know, well, did you really think that I was cheating on you with Masimo?' I asked nervously.

Dave thought for a moment and then shook his head. 'I was just a jealous idiot,' he told me. 'Stubborn too.' I laughed lightly and nodded.

'Very stubborn,' I agreed. 'And very, _very_ jealous!' We laughed away the awkwardness and then continued back to my house, not mentioning the past again.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

**A/N: **If you didn't realize, Gee and Dave were talking abut when they broke up (see 'You're the PANTS that I want' if you want to clear that up, or anything.)


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Thank muchio for the reviews so far. Keep it up, mon pallys =D

Jenny x

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**Ahoy there PANTS!**

**Six**

**The front door **

**5 mins later**

Oh merde! Why did I agree to this? This is going to be beyond the valley of awkwardness. Dave, Hollie and me all together in one room. This is going to be… cosy. Not!

'To open door's you generally have to turn the door handle,' Dave supplied helpfully as I stood staring at the door.

'Um, oui. I know that,' I shrugged, slowly opening the door.

'Oh, welcome back Georgia,' Hollie said, approaching the door as it opened, a friendly (yet seemingly forced) smile across her face. And then her blue eyes grew wide as she saw who was behind me. 'Dave?!'

'Hello kitten,' Dave smirked, entering the house. Kitten?! What… why-huh? Kitten, but that's almost like sex kitty!

He calls her kitten?!!!

How. Dare. He!!

Kitten?! I ask you!

'Well,' I started, my voice colder than intended. 'I'll leave you two to talk, I have a, ah… phone call to make.'

**3 mins later**

'Jas?'

'What is it?' Oh, that's nice!

'I need your help!'

'Georgia, I'm busy.' She's such a kind and caring best friend, isn't she? I should tell her that. 'And why are you whispering?'

'Well you obviously don't care enough to help me, so I don't really think I should tell you why I am whispering or why I really need a best friend right now. Goodbye,' and I hung up.

Ha! That'll teach her. And I'm going to phone someone else so that she can't phone back.

Hmm… who to phone?

**2 mins later**

'Joe?'

'Gee?'

'Oui.'

'Why are you whispering?'

'Because I am being sneaky,' I informed my college friend. I don't know why I didn't think of ringing Joe in the first place. He is so good with advice, and he's a guy, which helps in these kind of situations.

'Ah, yes, I forgot that you are actually a part time ninja,' Joe said.

'I'll forgive you for forgetting if you help me out,' and I went on to explain the situation I was currently trapped in. Being the good egg that he was, Joe listened without interrupting (unlike some people who shall not be mentioned, coughJascough!)

When I had finished, I felt a bit blubbery. I do hope I can hold the waterworks, Dave and Hollie are downstairs.

'There's a simple solution to this, Gee-Gee,' Joe said simply.

'What?'

'Go down and spy on them.'

'Spy? Me? I would never sink that low. Shame on you for suggesting that, Joe!'

**1 min later**

**Operation ninja time. **

'What's happening?' Joe whispered. I wasn't sure why he was whispering, but I guess he was just getting carried away.

I peered around the corner to see Dave sitting opposite Hollie. Baby J only knows where Libby is. What a fabbity babysitter Hollie is, losing Libs like that.

'They're talking,' I whispered back.

'Can you hear them?' Joe asked eagerly. I crawled a little closer.

'Just about.'

'Good, now stop talking and listen,' Joe said. I think he was wishing he was here with me. Joe gets right into these kind of things, it's rather scary actually.

I snuck another glance at Dave and Hollie. Hollie looked quite upset. Good.

'_I do like you, Hol, don't think that I don't.' _Dave sounds quite distressed, not at all laugh like.

'_How come you never told me about her?' _OK, I do not like how she just said her.

'Joe? Did you hear that?'

'Nope,' Joe replied.

'_Because I didn't want to talk about her,' _Dave replied to Hollie (of course he's replying to Hollie, he doesn't know I'm spying – and I hope it stays that way.)

'_I don't understand,' _Hollie confessed. Simple girl, bit like Jas really.

'_Things between me and Georgia have always been complicated, Hol,' _Dave shrugged. _'I didn't want to think about her, and so I didn't talk about her.' _OK, is it just me, or does it sound as if they are talking about me as if I were dead?

'What's going on?' Joe hissed.

'Dave's telling her why he never told her about me,' I whispered back, quickly glancing at the pair, worried that they might hear me. Luckily they were too taught up in their conversation.

'_So now that she's back, there's no chance for us?' _Hollie asked. I crossed my fingers – please say the answer I want to hear.

Unfortunately I was then tackled by a mad eight year old.

Fan-bloody-tastic.

'What-cha doing?' Libby sung loudly. Dave and Hollie were suddenly peering down at me as I crouched closer to the floor, letting my hair cover my fast growing red face. I glanced around me, looking for a cover up.

'Ah!' I announced dramatically. 'Here it is!' I grabbed the nearest item to me and held it up, clambering to me feet. 'I found it, Joe!' I announced down the phone.

'Found what?' Joe asked me puzzled.

'Um… Georgia, why were you looking for that?' Dave asked, staring at me in suspicion and amusement. I glanced at what was in my hand and then quickly threw it to the floor in disgust.

'Um… it's Angus's lucky hairball?' I said quietly, my face suddenly feeling even hotter.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Thanks for all the reviews! Keep it up =D

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Edit (22/04/09) - It's been brought to my attention that Dave asked Georgia about her relationships during college in chapter five as well and she answered him then, so sorry about that mistake. Dave (and I) just have very bad memories XD

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**Ahoy there PANTS!**

**Seven**

**6 mins later**

'Well, I think that went well,' Joe said down the phone.

'Which part were you listening too?' I demanded. After accusing me of not respecting their privacy, Hollie took Libby and stormed off while Dave stared at me in a somewhat amused but disappointed way. He then lounged off into the kitchen to help himself to some jammy dodgers; anyone would think he lives here!

Dave living in my house, with me! Him and me, together! Ooh, I like that idea.

'Okay, so it went atrociously bad. I could hear every word that Sarah girl was saying.'

Sarah?

'Joe, her names Hollie, that doesn't even sound like Sarah!' Honestly, where do I find these friends? He's as bad as Jas.

Well, actually, no he's not. Because nobody's as bad as Jas.

'Well whatever,' Joe said, distracted. 'I got to go, Gee.'

'Joe, have you got a girl there?' I demanded, suspiciously.

'Bye,' he hung up! Charming!

**2 mins later **

Minding my own business and washing my hands thoroughly with soap. I would have done so earlier, but talking on the phone makes it difficult.

'So who's Joe?' I really should have shut that bathroom door. I turned to smile sheepishly at Dave.

'Just a college friend.' Dave raised an eyebrow, so I raised the opposite one and we both stood staring at each other like starey things, opposite eyebrows raised for a minute.

Blimey it's hard work!

'College boyfriend?' he asked casually after a while.

Joe? My boyfriend?!

Hahahahahahaha, now that's amusing!

'What's so funny?' Dave asked, both his eyebrows raised now. I shook my head, trying to force down my smile.

'I've just never pictures Joe as anything close to a love interest,' I chuckles. 'He's like a big brother to me.'

Was that just me, or did Dave looked relieved?

'So, did you have a boyfriend at college?' Dave asked casually, hastily adding 'if you don't mind me asking.'

Did I mind him asking?

Well, I know about Hollie, so it seems only fair…

'Yeah, I did,' I muttered, unsure of how I felt talking to Dave about this. After all, Steve was like a major Luuurve God, something I seem to have a weakness for, and Dave is my one and only.

Ah the confusion of it all!

'So, why were you really in the front room earlier?' Dave smirked, changing the subject. Obviously he felt as uncomfortable as me talking about my relationships. He always did hate talking about Robbie and Masimo with me, even if he did hide it well.

'I said… I was looking for…'

'Georgia, you don't really expect me to believe that you were looking for a hairball, do you?' Dave asked, his grin still in place.

'Yes?' I asked hopefully.

'Gee you silly kitty kat!' he chuckled, ruffling my hair. I glared at him, instantly turning to the mirror to fix my hair. How dare he mess it up!

Hang on… did he just call me kitty kat???!!!

'Dave…?'

'Hm?'

'Did you just… never mind.' Stupid, Georgia, you're being stupid!!

Blimey O'Reilly's trousers what am I getting myself into?

I was meant to have matured and be all normal and sex kitty like round Dave, but instead I'm just going all jelloid! It's like Robbie all over again! Except Dave's not a band member. Nor does he like vegetables. He is not Jas or her potato lover after all.

Gosh! If Dave were Jas, that would make me a lezzie! Erlack!

'Well I should probably get going,' Dave said after a moment. He looked… sad.

'Yeah,' I agreed, feeling a little miz.

'I'll probably see you tomorrow,' he shrugged. 'I hear Rosie and Sven want everyone to meet to discuss operation horns and wedding bells.'

Operation horns and wedding bells? I ask you! Is that what they are calling their wedding now?

'Really? I didn't know.' Actually, I didn't! How come Rosie hasn't phoned me?! I am her maid of honour after all! What a top notch friend she is! Probably snogging Sven to an inch of her life. And feeding him snacks no doubt. Snogging and snacks, how charming.

'You'd probably know if you hadn't been on the phone for the last however long,' Dave smirked. 'I still want to know why you were eves dropping, kitty! Tell me later,' he winked at me and then, almost without thought, leaned in and kissed my cheek.

I think my heart stopped.

No, there it goes, hammering in my chest, trying to escape with as much force as possible.

Dave. Just. Kissed. Me!

Sure, it was only a peck on the cheek, but still! It was a kiss! A kiss! A Dave kiss!

**2 mins later**

'Jas?'

'What?'

'Dave just kissed me!'

'No he didn't,' she said matter of factly. What, was she here?!

'Jas you're not even here! He kissed me!'

It took a moment for it to sink into her incredibly thick skull.

'He did?!'

'Yes!'

'Where?'

'Well, it was only on the cheek…'

'On the cheek?' she repeated. 'Georgia, that's not even on the snogging scale! You've gone further than that with Angus!'

Oh please don't remind me of that accidental incident…

'You're just jealous,' I said lamely.

'What of? Dave or Angus?'

I hung up on her. Honestly, she seems to have collected a little attitude in the past couple of years!

**10 mins later**

I was in such a good mood I even apologized to Hollie for earlier. She seemed shocked, but smiled genuinely enough.

'Dave told me you two had history,' she said sadly, although I could hear something else in her tone. 'Don't think that's going to make me give up on him though,' she warned, her eyes twinkling.

'Is that a challenge?' I asked, surprised by how calmly I was able to discuss Dave like this.

'Best girl wins,' Hollie smirked evilly, picking up her bag and walking to the front door. 'As you're in, I'm going to leave. I trust looking after Libby isn't beyond you?'

Oh, it is so on! She is such a sly little bitch!


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **I am awful, I know! I can't even remember how long it's been since I updated. I just haven't been in the mood for writing anything…

**Ahoy there PANTS! **

**Eight**

**Tuesday **

**11.30am **

**Round Rosie's**

**Operation Horns and Wedding Bells **

The whole gangs here, plus the lads. All except Dave, the one person I am most excited to see. As usual, Sven is wearing spectacular flares.

'I hear you were with Dave last night, Gee,' Tom said. Stupid Radio Jas, not caring about my privacy…

'Yeah,' I agreed. The gang was suddenly full on, attention wise. Except Mrs Mole, who seemed vair uninterested.

'Well?' Roro remanded.

'Well what?' I asked innocently. Rosie rolled her eyes.

'Spill. We want to know everything!'

'We do?' Rollo asked, curiously. Mabs nodded eagerly from beside him.

'Well, there's not much to say. We talked; he caught me eves dropping on him and _Hollie_; he kissed my cheek goodbye; and Hollie revealed her true colours.'

'Hollie?' Tom asked curiously, sounding surprised by my bitter tone when I mentioned her and my final comment about her. Obviously he thought she was little Miss perfect and that the sun shines from her –

'Georgia?' Jools asked. I looked up, surprised. 'I said, what did she do?'

So I retold the story, perhaps changing slight bits here and there, just to add to the over all affect of course. When I'd finished, Jas raised her eyebrows.

'Hollie's always seemed nice enough to me,' she stated, obvious disbelief to my story in her voice. I raised an eyebrow at her, so she raised the other. We glared at each other for a time before I finally spoke up.

'Yes, well you've never dated her ex boyfriend, have you Jas?' I kept my tone cool, as it was more amusing that way. I'd forgotten how pinky white Jas turned when she was angry. Hehehe.

**2 mins later**

'Well!' Rosie said happily, breaking the silence and forcing me and Jas to stop our glaring. 'Let's talk beards!' And, just like back at Stalag 14, she pulled out a fake beard and attached it to her face.

'As your Maid of Honour, I refuse to wear one!' I said instantly. Rosie pouted.

'Awe, Gee! Please?' she whined. Behind her glasses her eyes turned on to full puppy dog mode. I sighed. Help my baby J!

Just then there was a knock on the door. Sven jumped to his feet with a loud yell of 'HORN' and ran to answer it. Some muffled talking was heard, another yell of horn, and then Sven had returned, Dave the Laugh thrown over his shoulder.

It was quite a funny sight; even Jas smirked!

Dave didn't look too bothered. 'Alright ladies, stand in a row and get ready for some amazing snogging!' he announced from Sven's shoulder.

**1 min later**

'Now that we're all here,' Rosie said cheerfully, stroking her fake beard like a wise man with a beard. 'Let's talk operation Horns and Wedding Bells!' All of us girls cheered. Loudly.

'Now now,' Rosie continued. 'I cannot have giggling buffoons as my bridesmaids. I need giggling Vikings, you fooooooooools!' And she handed out some bride new, groovy Viking horns.

Blimey, she's thorough!

We cheered again, like loons on loon tablets.

'Yes, yes,' Rosie smirked. 'I thought you would like your new horns. They we be excellent for operation Horn party!'

'You mean Hen party?' Ellen asked, like the fool she is.

'Non, mon amie! I mean horn par-TAY!' We all cheered again, except Ellen, who looked a bit confused.

'Now let's go down to the disco!!!!!' Rosie yelled, earning a fresh round of cheers before all us girls started dancing. The lads looked a bit shocked at first, but then they joined in; oh good, they're learning! My minions have taught them well while I was away at college.

**5 mins later**

Phew!

Let's go down to the disco may be amazingly fun, but it's also exhausting!

'Now the important stuff is settled,' Rosie continued, from her place atop of Sven's lap. Important stuff? Blimey, I wonder what is unimportant stuff? 'We need to discuss dates!'

That's unimportant?!

'Jools, you'll be going with Rollo right?' Jool's nodded eagerly from her place beside Rollo. Honestly, I was quite surprised to see their relationship had survived; that was very… unexpected. Then again, Mabs was still with Edward, and Ellen still with Dec, so I suppose it wasn't _that_ surprising.

'Of course, Gee will be with Dave.' Wait, what? What?! Seeing my shocked face she sent me a stern look, kind of like the one Libby so often uses on me. 'Dave is best man,' she explained. 'And you are Maid of Honour.'

'But –' I started to protest.

'Aw Gee, don't you want to be my date?' Dave asked, winking at me. I felt my face flush red. Great, bloody perfect! I am now a red face loon.

I sighed. 'Fine.' Rosie clapped in delight, obviously pleased with herself.

**30 mins later**

The numb and the gist of things is that I'm in charge of the Horn party, while Dave's in charge of the Stag do, everyone gets to choose their dates except me and Dave, and I have to wear a beard. Peachy.

Just bloody marvy.

Have I ever said that I love Rosie? Because if I have, it was a lie. Right now I feel like stabbing her with a fork. A really big, giant fork!

**10 mins later **

**Leaving Rosie's **

'S'later my Viking of honour!' Rosie yelled, saluting me as I left.

'S'later,' I mumbled, feeling a bit miz. Damn Rosie and her Viking wedding of the centaury. I reckon it was all intentional, her way of trying to set me and Dave up.

I don't need her help though.

Do I?

Oh Buddah, as Baby J and Our Lord Sandra have not been helping me, I turn to you for guidance.

Is Dave interested in me or not?! He said S'later to me as I left Rosie's, but as we all know, S'later can mean bloody anything!

Ah, I am once again in the height of confusion!

**30 secs later**

If that wasn't bad enough, my life is now a war zone.

Bloody stupid Hollie.

Stupid Dave.

Stupid Rosie.

Stupid Jas!

Stupid Masimo! Wait… why is Masimo popping up in my mind? I haven't thought of the Italian Stallion in ages!

'_Ciao_ Georgia!'

…


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **OH. MY. DAYS! I am so so sooo sorry about how long it's taking me to update, but, well, I have no excuse other than I am tres lazy and just haven't been in the mood. I shall try to get the next chapter to you in the next couple of weeks, but please don't hold me to it. It could be a lot longer, but never fret! I shall update again eventually.

On another note, my aim is for 15 chapters for this fic (same as You're the PANTS that I want!) so only six more to go, unless it ends up being longer of course.

Review?

**Ahoy there PANTS!**

**Nine**

'_Ciao_ Georgia!'

…

Oh my giddy God.

Oh my giddy God and giant pantyhose!

Masimo the Luuurve God is standing in front of me, all smiling like. He's obviously forgiven me for the last time we met; otherwise he wouldn't be smiling, would he? Gah, I don't even know anymore?! You would think that going away for a couple of years to college would make me an expert of the male species, but it didn't. At all.

'Hi,' I finally managed to say.

'How have you been?'

'As fine as two fine things.' Oh God, why do I find it impossible to speak coherently around Luuurve Gods? I'm fine(ish) with Dave, and he's a Laugh God. Or perhaps a Dave God.

Masimo laughed, 'you are still liking a laugh, I see.'

'Oh that's me, I love laughing I do!' Kill me now. Luckily, Masimo was still smiling. 'How are you?' A normal comment, go me!

'Me, I am fine. I am to be returning to Italy soon, so I am glad I am able to see you again before I go.'

Swoon.

'Oh that's cool. For a holiday or…?'

'I am returning home to live,' Masimo said, in his sexy Italian accent. 'You remember my girl who my long relationship ended with?' I nodded. 'We have been, as you say, pen pals to each other for a while. She asks me to give another try.'

'Oh that's great Masimo!' Surprising I was not jealous in the slightest, not even the tiniest bit. In fact, I was genuinely pleased for him. Although I will miss that gorgey (phorr!) face!

'It is,' he said with a smile. 'How about you, miss Georgia? Have you been seeing your laugh?'

'Dave? It's… well, it's very complicated.'

Very, very complicated. As in he has a psycho ex girlfriend who has everyone loving her (even Muti and Vati!) while she is actually an evil plotting bitch. She's probably a chav too. Not only that, but I have no idea where I stand with Dave!

'If it would help, you could talk me about it,' Masimo suggested kindly. Maybe it would be good to talk about it with Masimo… then again, maybe Rosie will become a nun and pigs will fly.

I think I'd rather phone Reb, as, one I haven't spoken to her in ages, and two she is one of my best friends and always knows how to make me feel better.

'That's really kind, Masimo, but I should be getting back home.' Masimo nodded and surprised me with a hug. Corr, I forgot how marvey Masimo actually is!

'It was good to be seeing you, miss Georgia,' he muttered in my ear, all sexy like. Oooh, send shivers down my spine why don't you?

**20 mins later**

'Reb? Are you busy?'

'Yes.'

'Good, can we talk?' I pleaded. I heard her sigh. What's got her knickers in a twist? I asked her, 'what's got your knickers in a twist?'

She tutted. She actually tutted! She is more like Jas than I gave her credit for! Next she will be going out on rambles and paying 300 quid to give badgers sunglasses!

'What happened to phoning everyday?'

'Reb, it's been four days since I last saw you! And I would have phoned, only my life has been hectic, which is why I really need to talk to you! Plus you are my bestest friend in the universe and I want to know how you are!' haha, a bit of sucking up never hurt anybody.

'Your bestest friend?' she repeated. I could hear the smile in her voice.

'Yes, Becky!'

'Better than Jas?'

'Until you begin to like badgers and mole hills, yes.' She laughed.

'Ugh! Nature!' That's more like it! A normal girl who hates nature, just the way Our Lord Sandra intended. After all, what kind of girl would want to like nature when it destroys our high heels?

'So what's up, Gee?' she asked.

'You remember I told you about Dave the Laugh?'

'Oh. OH!' I take it she remembers! Reb made a sympathetic noise. 'Tell me all about it.'

'Well… it's just… and his girlfriend… and the wedding… his date!' I blurted out. I could just picture Reb nodding in understanding, even though what I had just said made absolutely no sense what so ever.

'So,' she summarized. 'Dave has a girlfriend… no, wait, ex-girlfriend?'

'Oui.'

'And… erm, she's his date to the wedding? No, that's not right. _You're_ his date?!'

'Yes!'

'Then what the hell is the matter?! Surly you should be happy that the two of you are going to go to the wedding together!'

'I am, but, Reb, I'm so confused,' I confessed with a sigh. 'War has been declared between me and Hollie – his ex – and Dave has been so lovely to me, but, well…'

'Just go for it Gee! The guy obviously likes you. I've not even met him or spoken to him but I can tell! And the worst he can do is turn you down, and if he does then you know that you can do better!'

She makes it sound so easy.

**30 mins later**

Hungry, hungry, hungry.

Where is the food in this house? And where are Mutti, Vati and Libs for that matter?

Hmm… a half eaten sausage, yummy.

I could drive to the supermarket and buy some food, but that involves walking – even if it just is outside to the car. I don't think I can be bothered to be honest. There has to be something other than that half eaten sausage, surly.

Also, what to do about Dave? Reb suggested ringing him, or, even better, going out to find him but I'm not convinced. Anyway, it should be Dave coming to seek me out, not the other way around! It's his fault I'm so confused anyway, especially after Roro's earlier. He didn't exactly seem annoyed that he had no choice about being my date for the wedding. In fact, he seemed a bit surprised by my reluctance.

**2 mins later**

'Jas?'

'Yeah?'

'I'm hungry.'

'Get some food then!'

'I can't. We don't have anything in house.'

'Oh, have you suffered from an accident since I saw you earlier?' What is she on about? Honestly, I don't know how Tom has coped with her for so long, she's impossible!

'What are you on about, Jas?'

'I didn't realize you had lost the ability to walk to a shop and buy something to eat.'

Pff! What does she know?

'For your information, I can't leave the house.'

'Why ever not?' she demanded, in a strict mother kind of way. Honestly, her kids are going to be terrified of her.

'Because I might bump into Dave or Hollie.'

'Oh honestly…' she sighed. 'Georgia, you are beyond pathetic!'

Pathetic? Moi?

'Cheers, goodbye!' I slammed down the phone in annoyance.

Pathetic? Hiding out from my ex and his ex isn't pathetic, is it? Oh baby J, help me! Give me a sigh, please!

**2 secs later**

My stomach is rumbling. Not the sigh I wanted, but I'll take what I can get.

Supermarket time! I wonder what crazy adventure the store will have in store for me today – as it's me, I'm sure it will be a lot!


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **I have no excuses!! I'm so sorry for the delay! But, hopefully the Dave/Gee ness will make up for it.

Please review.

* * *

**Ahoy there PANTS!**

**Ten**

**15 mins later**

**At the Supermarket**

La la la la la la!

Honestly, I never realised food shopping could be so fun! And trolley surfing, as I have so affectionately named my new favourite sport, is so fun! You just push the trolley really fast then jump on the back and _woooosh_!

I'm getting some rather annoyed looks from the staff, but who cares!

So, let's see. I need;

Jammy Dodgers

Sausages

Chocolate Ice cream

Midget Gems

Chips

Pizza!

Hmm… and whatever else I fancy along the way.

**30 secs later**

I wonder if Mutti will be really pleased with me for food shopping?

She better be! Lord Sandra knows nobody else does anything of the sort at home!

**30 secs later**

Blimey O'Reilly's trousers! There is so much to choose from! Unbelievable!

I hope Vati doesn't mind that I stole his cash card to pay…

**1 min later**

Rosie and Sven should probably have their wedding in the Supermarket! Sven would like that. He would probably sew sausages on his flares in celebration.

I wonder what goes through his tiny mind?

On second thoughts, I'd rather not know.

Belch! I can't believe I just… Ooh… Shiny!

**20 seconds later**

Some of the stuff they come up with now a days! Okay, I am slightly hyper but still, it's amazing what you can find!

'You look like you're having fun!'

Bugger.

Bloody fabby.

I blame Jas entirely.

'Dave!'

Honestly, seeing Dave isn't a _bad_ thing, it's just that I'm so confused! And he looks awfully gorgey standing there with his trolley.

'Fancy seeing you here, kitty!' Does he sound surprised? Not at all. If this has something to do with Jas I will kill her! I will hit her on her head with a badger until she dies! I swear!

…

Dave just called me Kitty!!! Again!!! He definitely did this time! Last time I wasn't too sure.

'Yeah well…' sound casual, please sound casual! 'I just, you know, fancied a bit of cheese and crackers.'

Cheese and crackers??! What?? Do I even have any cheese or crackers in the trolley?? NO!

Dave laughed.

'Gee, do you fancy hanging out for a bit once you're done? We could go for a walk?' He sounds hopeful! Oh. My. Days!

'Yeah sure. Let me just finish…' I threw down the shiny spatula thing I was holding and hurriedly pushed the trolley forward.

For a few minutes we just walk in silence while I threw anything (and I mean anything, I'm not paying any attention at all!) into the trolley. Dave seems amused just to watch me.

'Aren't you buying anything?' I finally noted, seeing his empty trolley. Dave shrugged.

'Nah. To be honest, kitty-kat, I saw you come in and decided to stalk you,' he smirked sexily at me. Ooooh… I hope I'm not as red as I feel!

'Oh.'

**20 mins later**

**Finally out of the supermarket **

'So, are you going to tell me why you were eaves dropping the other day?' Dave asked craftily as I drove us back to my house so we could put the frozen stuff away before it melted.

'When?' I asked carefully.

'When Hollie was baby sitting Libby,' Dave said, smirking at me.

'I told you, I was looking for – '

'-Gee, I wasn't born yesterday, as you can tell from my crazy good looks and charm,' he winked at me.

I sighed. Here goes nothing.

'I was just… curious I guess. And nosy. Plus,' to shift the blame elsewhere, 'my friend told me to. I phoned him and he bullied me into it.'

Dave raised an eyebrow, so I raised the other.

'Now why would a friend of yours want you to listen in on mine and Hollie's conversation?'

'…I… dunno?'

Corr, this is almost like being interviewed by a PC Plod. If Dave's not careful I will probably have a Nervy B and break down into confession in a minute.

Mind you, confessing how much I like him could work in my favour. I miss Dave's top notch snogging skills. The lip nibbling especially.

Still, I'm not willing to risk the humiliation if he isn't interested.

Luckily, Dave changed the subject. 'So, looks like we're dates for the upcoming wedding.'

Oh yes, a much less awkward conversation. _Thanks_ Dave.

'Yes, looks like it,' I mumbled.

'It'll be a laugh,' Dave assured me, misreading my awkwardness for lack of enthusiasm. 'And you have the best looking date around, all the other girls will be jealous!'

I laughed.

'You wish!'

'No, it's true! You might have to hire some bodyguards to protect you. I'm sure ever other female in the room will try to bump you off so they can be with me.'

'You're full of it!' I laughed as we started carrying the shopping into the house. I'm glad the conversation has turned safe. I much rather have a laugh with Dave than stand feeling awkward.

'A little,' he confessed. 'But don't pretend it doesn't give you the horn!'

'Whatever you say, Hornmeister!'

'But I do say,' he smirked, coming to a stop in front of me, blocking my way. 'I know you can't resist handsome old me, as brilliant as I am.'

I rolled my eyes.

'Dave, you're an idiot.'

He laughed. 'It seems I no longer hold any skills to charm my sex kitty.'

'Your _sex kitty_ wishes to get passed you so she can put the ice cream in the freezer before it melts.'

Dave bowed elaborately, 'whatever mistress wishes.'

'You're such a flirt,' I chuckled, edging round him to get to the freezer. 'And don't call me mistress!'

I started throwing the shopping away carelessly; wanting to get it done quickly so I could spend more time with Dave. Even if he was only being Dave and didn't actually fancy me, I was willing to take whatever I could get. Sad, maybe, but I couldn't care less.

'Gee, did I ever mention that I really missed you when you left for college?' Dave asked softly for behind me. Startled, I straightened up and turned to face him.

'You may have,' I answered.

'I wished you would have said goodbye,' he told me. I was shocked by his sudden mood change. His face looked serious and his smile from a moment ago had vanished. Why is it that more and more Dave seems to be un-Dave like? 'But, I suppose I know why you didn't.'

'Dave…' I trailed off, not really knowing what to say.

Oh Baby J, Lord Sandra, Buddha, somebody please help me!


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **Blimey! Drama!

I'm not sure how many chapters this fic will have left. It was originally going to have fifteen, but there may be more now – we'll see. Even so, it's drawing to a close now.

Reviews most welcome – and thanks for all the reviews/favs/alerts of received so far! =)

* * *

**Ahoy there PANTS!**

**Eleven**

**30 seconds later**

'Listen, Dave…' I start awkwardly, still not sure what do say. Oh Gadzooks! What must I do?!

Dave is definitely my one and only. Even when I was with Steve I used to dream about Dave. And I'm guessing he still feels the same, even if I haven't matured that much, which was what he had originally wanted. Well, he said that's what he wanted; that he wasn't sure I could have the Particular Horn for someone. It's his fault really anyway! He was the on who introduced me to the almighty ways of the horns!

Before I can even think of how to continue, the phone rings.

'Great,' I mumble. 'I'll be right back, Dave.'

**10 seconds later**

Plodding along to the phoneio.

Who dares to interrupt my special Dave time? Especially as I was just about to admit to Dave that I still have the Particular Horn for him and that he will always be my Dave God.

'Hello, your call struck bad timing so you are speaking with moody Georgia, how may I help you?'

'Gee, the weddings off.'

'What?!'

What, what, what, what, what, WHAT? What?!

'Jas?' I ask when she doesn't reply.

'Rosie phoned me earlier. She and Sven have had a massive argument about something. She was blubbering and everything, said she wanted to be alone.'

'Non!' I gasp in shock. Rosie and Sven can't break up! They are like, perfect for each other (baby J only knows why!). The world may collapse if this wedding doesn't take place!

'Oui! It's a shock isn't it? Tom weren't straight round to see Sven, demanding to know what happened.'

'Good luck to him then, I don't think anyone understands Svenish, even Rosie. She probably doesn't even know what they argued about.'

'Georgia, it's not funny!'

'I know,' I sighed. 'We need a gang meeting and we need to start operation Looney and Beard.'

'Looney and Beard?' Jas repeated dumbly. I bet she's playing with her fringe.

'Yes, Jas. Looney because Sven is a great big loon, and Beard because, well, Rosie loves beards.'

'Oh.'

'Jas, is there anything else?' I demand, desperate to go tell Dave the news.

'Not really. When shall we meet?'

'An hour in the park, bring lip gloss and emergency prototype number four.'

'Sausages?'

'No, you buffoon head! Jammy dodgers!'

Honestly, Jas can be a huge fool sometimes. I would roll my eyes at her, but as she can't see me, and as they are so heavily made up I won't bother.

'Tatty bye,' I say, before she can reply, hanging up on her.

I can't believe what's happened. Rosie and Sven? The wedding off? Non!

'Dave,' I call, rushing back to where left him. He is happily munching on a tub of ice cream, cheeky beggar!

'What is it kitty? You look a bit flustered; did you just get a dirty phone call?'

'The weddings off!' I gasp, not even duffing him for his rude comment.

'Non!'

'Oui!'

'Non!'

'Oui!'

Okay, this is reminding me of old conversations with Jas. Which is not good. At all.

'Rosie and Sven had an argument!' I announce. 'What in the name of pantyhose about, I've no idea. Jas and I have arranged a group meeting. Maybe you lads should come too?'

'Good idea, I'll ring around the lads, let them know.' Good old Dave! It's good to see that the lads care about Roro and Sven getting hitched as much as us girls do!

'Right, we're meeting in an hour in the park,' I tell him. 'You can use my phone.' He nods and hurries to the phone. For a moment I pace the kitchen, before picking up Dave's spoon and tucking into the abandoned Ice Cream.

Poor Roro, she must be feeling awful at the minute, but she needn't fret! Us Ace Gang will get them back together in no time.

**1 minute later**

Door bell.

Now what's going on? If it's some neighbour complaining about Angus or Gordy…

**30 seconds later**

It's Hollie.

Can this day get any worse?

'What do you want?' I ask bluntly, not even bothering to pretend to be a polite person.

'Where's Dave? I know he's here!'

How charming, not even a 'hi Georgia, I know we're mortal enemies and all, but how are you?'

'What makes you think he's here?' I ask, not in the mood for games. I mean come on; I've just been told one of my best friends has just split up with her fiancé!

'Don't lie. Stop being childish and tell me!'

'Excuse me for being childish but I'm in the middle of a crises here, and having you bang on my door and demand to see Dave – who, by the way, is not interested in you anymore – is just the icing on the cake!'

'What's wrong, you run out of lip gloss?' Hollie asks spitefully. Honestly, I don't know how she managed to fool people with her little Miss Princess act at all.

'Just shut up Hollie. I don't want to deal with you right now, so if you don't want a duffing up, I'd leave.'

'Are you threatening me?' Hollie counters, looking insulted. God! She reminds me of Wet Lindsay! Dave went out with a wet one?! My days, I must have words with Mr Laugh; his tastes have been slipping recently. He should just stick with Sex Kitty's like myself.

'Maybe I am,' I shrug, tempted to just shut the door in her face. Honestly, who does she think she is? And Dave is mine – she can just keep away!

'DAVE!' she calls furiously past my shoulder. After a moment Dave appears in the hallway, holding the phone to his ear and looking confused.

'Hollie, what are you – '

'-Dave we need to speak!' she says, glaring at me before sending a puppy dog, pleading look Dave's way.

'I'm busy,' Dave replies, gesturing to the phone.

'But –' she protests, looking utterly pathetic.

'I thought we'd said everything that needed saying. We broke up remember, it was a mutual decision, you need to move on.'

It doesn't look as if Hollie wants to move on, but she sighs and nods.

'We'll speak later,' she promises him with a smile. Before she leaves, she glares at me. If looks could kill…

I shut the door.

'Thank god,' Dave sighs. 'I thought she'd never leave.'


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: **Hears the next chapter.

I read the new book – it's great. Although the ending is a little… lame. Seemed too hurried to me. Ah well.

Review :)

* * *

**Ahoy there PANTS!**

**Twelve**

'_Thank god,' Dave sighs. 'I thought she'd never leave.'_

**10 seconds later**

Huh?

'You say that as if you don't like her,' I point out. I know they split up and everything, and I know I can't stand Hollie, but I thought Dave liked her? As a friend at least.

Don't get me wrong, if he sees her for the cow she is then that is beyond the valley of marvy!

Dave sighs. 'She annoys me. Especially since we broke up; no, especially since you returned. It was her idea to break up – well, it was a joint decision – but since you returned she's been…' Dave trails off, looking troubled. After a moment a grin spreads across his face – he's back to Dave the Laugh again. 'Well then Kittykat, shall we be off? We have a gallant quest to fix a broken engagement remember.'

**3pm **

Skipping along to the park. Yes, we are actually skipping.

**3.01 pm**

The skipping was Dave's idea. He truly is a bit of a div.

**3.02 pm**

A gorgey div!

That is le fact.

**3.10 pm**

We are the first to arrive at the park. We sit under the large tree – well Dave does, I wouldn't call what I did sitting – I sort of fell into his lap. It was Dave's fault; he pulled me down with him in a vair violent manor.

'Georgia, of all the ways to die, getting crushed by your generous nunga-nungas is simply the best.'

I swat him away, the perve!

'Dave, you perve!'

'Don't you just love it Sex Kitty?' It's strange how I can just melt into Dave. An amazing strange, of course!

I would love to just pull him over and snog his brains out and – shut up brain!!!

And erlack! You disgusting people! I didn't literally mean snog his brains out. That is beyond gross and physically impossible – I think.

I wonder if you could snog someone's brains out? _No, no, no!_ Don't think about that!

'What's on your mind?' Dave asks.

_Snogging you… _Gah! I have such little will power. I must make a plea to baby J and Buddha in hopes of gaining some more.

'Rosie,' I lie. 'Do you think we'll be able to get her and Sven back together?'

'Of course we will, chicklet! Those two can't go five minutes without snogging each other.'

That's true. Rosie and Sven are like human snogging machines. I sometimes wonder if there s anything else to their relationship but snogging – heaven knows they can't talk about anything; Sven hardly speaks a word of English unless it has something to do with horns.

He's good for a laugh though – I just don't like wearing a skirt when he's around.

'You're right. How long do we have until the others should arrive?'

Dave looks at his watch. 'Ten minutes, enough time for a quick snog behind the bushes!' he winks at me and I blush. Gah, why does Dave have this effect on me? Once upon a time he was my red herring, now I can barely control my heart raceing around him.

It's annoying.

Stupid Dave.

**10 seconds later**

'Ooh, you're thinking about it!' Dave laughs, a cocky grin across his face. 'It's been a long while since you've snogged the Hornmeister, don't be afraid to admit that you're having withdrawals.'

'In your dreams, Dave!' I roll my eyes, but he is so close to the truth, and doesn't he just know it.

**5 seconds later**

I hate him.

I hate him and his cockiness.

I hate how he can read my mind.

**2 seconds later**

Ooh I love him…

**1 min later**

'Georgia, are you with me? You're alive right?'

I blink.

'Huh?'

'You blanked out – I hadn't even snogged you yet, so I don't know what your excuse is, Kitty Kat!'

Damn. Get your head together Georgia!

**10 seconds later**

Wait.

Did he just say 'I hadn't even snogged you _yet'_? As in YET yet? As in he was planning to??

**20 seconds later**

'You're so cute when you're all confused, Gee,' Dave laughs and flicks my nose. 'I've missed this,' he says. 'You know, hanging around with just you – the good old days.'

He leans closer.

Oh. My. Sweet. Baby. J.

He's going to kiss me!!!

Will he do the lip nibbling? I've missed the lip nibbling.

Lip nibbling was him right? It wasn't Robbie or Masimo or Steve?

No, it was definitely the Hornmeister!

I let my eyes flutter closed as he draws closer. This is every dream come true.

'Georgia!'

My eyes snap open. What is she doing her? Stupid Jas – she's always ruining things. Dave was about to snog me – me! Why is it Jas has such superb timing?

Dave chuckles slightly. 'Next time, kitty kat,' and kissed my nose.

**15 mins later**

Glaring at Jas as the rest of the gang discusses the Rosie and Sven crises.

Oh she is so dead!

Deader than dead.

She ruined my Dave moment. She could have had the politeness – as a best friend should – and have pretended to be interested in the grass or something. In fact, she doesn't need to pretend. Jas is interested in grass. And newts and moles and every thing to do with nature. It's quite sad really.

I wonder if she's brought one of her owls with her to the meeting?

She probably has. It's probably tucked into her humongous knickers; or as our good friends the American's call them – panties!

**10 mins later**

'Have you got the huff with me?' Jas asks.

I ignore her.

'You don't want a Jammy Dodger then?'

I hear her munching on one. It's tempting… but she ruined what would have been the best kiss of the day for me.

'I brought midget gems as well.'

**2 mins later**

Munching on Jammy Dodgers and Midget Gems. What can I say? Jas knows me.

**5 seconds later**

I still hate her though.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **Thanks for all the reviews.

This chapter is just to get things back on track really. More Gee and Dave next chapter though! I promise!

The end is nearing…

Review :-)

* * *

**Ahoy there PANTS!**

**Thirteen**

**Wednesday **

**Crack of dawn (near enough)**

'Georgia, for God's sake! It's eleven o'clock! Get out of bed and do something!' Damn Mutti, does she not understand my critical need for sleep? I have a very busy day planned out ahead of me.

What is she even doing here? Surely she had better things to do? Like look at bald coots stripping or something?

Disgusting really.

**11.03**

'Mutti, I am trying vair hard to sleep! I know you won't understand, but I have a very busy day ahead of me trying to make sure the Viking wedding of the century is still going ahead, so appreciate a little more consideration!'

'If you have a busy day ahead of you then why are you still in bed?'

Honestly! Mutti's!

**11.04**

Good point well made, though.

**Half an hour later**

Rooting through the cupboards. Why is it that all the food I brought yesterday is gone? Do we have an army living in our house that Vati failed to mention?

And why don't they feed themselves anyway?

The rudeness of it all!

**1 min later**

'Mutti, tell your pet army that they can buy their own food and stay away from mine!' She just looked at me blankly.

Grumbling, I found some cereal and poured myself a bowl.

'What's going on with Rosie's wedding?' Mutti asked as I ate. Libby looked up from whatever she was making (I think it was meant to be cupcakes, baby J only knows I won't be testing them!).

'Her and Sven have had an argument,' I answered, munching away.

Munch, munch, munch.

Blinkey blink.

'Rosie and Sven? Argue? Heavens, but the wedding is only in a couple of days!' As Mutti vanished into Mutti world (wherever that may be) I finished my cereal and stood up.

At the Gang meeting yesterday, it was decided that it was my duty, as Maid of Honour, to go see Roro and find out what the hell this argument was about. Dave, as Best Man, was assigned to speak to Sven – good luck with that! Rather him than me!

**12.30**

**Rosie's house**

Rosie is wearing a fake beard, so I think that's a good sign.

Oh wait!

Her eyes are all red and blotchy.

'You won't change my mind!' she says before I can even ask her how she is. Blimey, she has a touch of Mystic Meg about her.

'I just wanted to know – '

'–He's an idiot! I can't marry him! I won't!'

'Rosie, I – '

'–My best beard!' she erupts. What in the name of pantyhose?

'Rosie, what in the name of Jas's gigantic panties are you on about!' I demand, grabbing both her shoulders and staring at her like a stary thing. She blinks and looks back at me, not saying anything, just staring.

'What happened?' I try again.

Rosie takes a deep breath, calming herself. She leans forward slightly as if to tell me something very important – which it bloody better be! If she's dragged me down her to say the wedding's off for some pathetic reason I -

'He. Ruined. My. Best. Beard.'

Blink.

_Beard_? This is all because of a beard? You've got to be kidding me! Surely even Rosie has more sense than to cancel a wedding over a fake beard! Please tell me she's not a complete idiot, please!

'He put it in the blender,' she continues, sobbing slightly.

Okay, so she _is_ a complete idiot.

**30 secs later**

'Rosie, please tell me you haven't cancelled the wedding over a fake beard!'

Rosie looks confused, as if she doesn't understand why I am not angry with Sven as well.

'Roro, it's only a beard!' I sigh, annoyed.

'It wasn't _just_ a beard!' she protests. 'It was my honeymoon beard!'

She breaks down into uncontrolled tears then, and I realize that there was more to it than that.

'Gee, do you really think I'm ready to get married?' she sobs. Ah, so the truth comes out. Pre-wedding nerves.

'Of course you are, Roro!'

Rosie and Sven have been planning their wedding from the day they met (near enough), if she's not ready, then nobody is!

'I'm only nineteen,' she hiccups. 'And what if I'm a bad wife? What if Sven leaves me and – '

'Stop it Rosie!' I demand. 'You and Sven are the perfect couple and this wedding is happening even if I have to bind and gag you. You haven't called the pope have you?'

'The pope?'

'The vicar, whatever! You haven't cancelled the wedding have you? Officially I mean?'

She shakes her head.

Oh thank you baby J! Now all we have to do is hope that Sven still wants to marry Rosie, which I'm sure he does – who else would put up with those flares of his? Who else would actually sew Christmas lights onto them for him?

Nobody, that's who!


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: **I am beyond sorry. I would grovel at your patient (I hope) feet if I were not too lazy. I have had serious writers block – that is my only excuse. I haven't written anything in ages.

Sorry this is so short, the reason for that is because I wanted to end the chapter where I ended it. Good news is that I am now about to write the next chapter and it should be up very soon (possibly even today). I have an interview for a job tomorrow, but if I don't get it up today I'll try by hardest to have it to you sometimes tomorrow.

Other news, it's almost over! A few more chapters (give or take) to go.

Oh and I lied, sorry! (see authors note for chapter 13) but there WILL be Gee/Daveness next chapter – a mountain of it!

Anyway, I've rambled enough. It's not a great chapter, but enjoy none the less.

**Ahoy there PANTS!**

**Fourteen**

**Thursday **

**10 am**

Two days till the wedding! It's on Saturday, I can't wait! It'll be beyond marvy.

**10.01**

Dave's my date!

**30 seconds later**

Dave! As in Dave Dave! As in Dave! Dave the Dave God!

**10 seconds later**

Blimey that was a lot of Dave's.

**2 mins later**

Turns out Sven didn't have a clue why Rosie was mad at him. With the help of me and Dave they were soon happily snogging again.

Sweet. And kind of disgusting considering RoRo was eating a ham sandwich at the time.

**11.00**

**Phone's ringing**

Nobody's home, well they might as well not be for all that I've seen them! So that means I, of course, have to answer the darn thing. What a chore.

I hope it's Dave.

**30 secs later**

'Fabulous, sex kitty maid of honour speaking, how may I help you?'

'Georgia?'

'Oui?'

'It's Jas.'

Marvy! My so called best friend who likes to ruin moments with Dave. Just who I wanted to speak to.

'Oh. What do you want?'

'Are you busy this arvie?'

'Depends on what you want to do.' If she wants to explore mole hills then I am definitely busy! Besides, I still haven't quite forgiven her for ruining the almost kiss with my Dave God!

'I wanted to know if you wanted to meet in town?'

'Why?' I ask suspiciously.

'Because I'm your bestest friend and I aime you?' She must be desperate to meet up; I usually have to beat Jas black and blue before she says she loves me! In French no less!

I sighed, just to make her feel a little bad.

'Okay, but I want you to buy me some Jammy Dodgers.'

'See you outside Boots in an hour!' she said cheerfully, hanging up the phone before I could even say bye. _Weird_.

**2 mins later**

I wonder what's up with Jas?

**10 mins later**

Should I wear boy entrancers when I meet Jas?

Obviously not for Jas's sake. I don't plan on wooing the mole lady. Erlack! Even if I became a lesbian, I'd rather become a lesbian nun before snogging Jas! Po and her fringe? No thanks!

I should wear boy entrancers though, just encase we bump into any fit lads (Dave).

**1 min later**

Then again, what if I bump into BG and he is entranced by my eyes? I do not want to risk being swallowed by an enormous mouth on legs two days before RoRo's wedding.

**11.20 **

To wear or not to wear, that is the question.

**11.21**

Stuff it, I'll just apply heavy mascara and hope for the best.

**11.30**

Hurrah! I think I'm about ready to leave. Wait… no.

Even if it is just Jas, I can't be seen dead out in this top. It makes my already large nunga nunga's look humongous.

What if the Queen saw me? She'd faint dead on the floor!

…Not that the Queen would be outside (or inside for that matter) Boot's. Not in my town anyway.

I wonder what the Queen does with her time. Surely it's not all about the biscuits?

**20 secs later**

'Would one like another Jammy Dodger, Lady Georgia?'

'Oh yes, your Royal Old. Spiffing tea, top notch!'

…maybe not.

**5 mins later**

I'm glad I can drive; else I'd be really late for meeting Jas. I'm only going for the Jammy Dodgers. Oh, and she can help me pick out a new dress for the Viking wedding after party. I already _have_ a dress, but one can never be too prepared.

**11.46**

Finally ready to go. Watch out road – Georgia's driving!

**12.07**

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. It's quite nippy noodles today.

I wonder where Po is? She better be late because she's buying me a fantastcal pressie.

**2 mins later**

It's official. I hate Jas. Next time I see her she's in for a big duffing up.

Stupid Po.

**1 min later**

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I'm actually really shivering. Maybe I shouldn't have worn a mini skirt after all. Why is it so cold!?

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

'Don't worry Sex Kitty. Now that someone as hot as me has arrived you won't feel cold anymore.'

I nearly jumped out of my skin (not literally of course, silly people!).


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **Told you I would get it up soon! I was going to wait for more reviews, but I decided to just get it up for you. I'll try and update again sooner rather than later, but no worries, I am **definitely** going to complete this fanfiction.

This is probably a much awaited chapter =)

Only a couple more to go now. Review!

**Ahoy there PANTS!**

**Fifteen**

**12.30**

I bloody love Po!

**10 secs later**

Apparently she felt bad for ruining my almost kiss with Dave, so the amazing, bestie friend ever, went and arranged a surprise date for us!

She even gave Dave the Jammy Dodger's I requested. Which he of course, presented to me in an overly exaggerated way with a rose! A rose! Dave gave me a rose!

'So where are we off to, glorious Sex Kitty?' Dave asked. We had been wandering aimlessly for twenty minutes or so now, chatting mainly about the wedding.

'Let's go get drinks,' I suggested, feeling a bit jelloid. Dave is so groovy looking that it's unbelievable. I don't understand how I could have resisted him for all those years. Why was I interested in SG and the Luuurve God when I had Dave right in front of me?

It's weird how it took me so long to notice. Even when we dated back before I left for college, I don't think I really _saw_ Dave.

Oh crapio! I don't want to get all sentimental now.

'Top notch idea, kitty! I know just the place!' Dave took my hand and literally dragged me off, leading me to the outskirts of town, where fewer people go.

I feel like a twit and a fool and a prat right now. It's bloody ridiculous to be nervous around Dave, but I am!

And I hope he's planning to stop dragging me soon. My legs will be burnt down to stubs by the friction (or something, I really have no idea what I'm on about) soon.

'Dave, I can walk by myself you know,' I pointed out finally.

'Yes, but my ways much better.'

I didn't argue. With Dave, there really is no point.

**4 mins later**

We've finally arrived. Blimey, I didn't even know this place existed! It's quite a nice little café though.

'How do you know about this place?' I asked him. Oh please, sweet baby J, don't tell me he went here with Hollie!

'My uncle owns it,' Dave shrugged. His uncle? 'He moved here about a year ago, brought the place and revamped it. I asked him to make the place into a hunting lounge for lads if you get my meaning, but it was a no go.'

Hunting lounge for lads? I blinked, like a blinky thing. Attractive, I think not.

'So, you up for a triple flavoured hot chocolate with whipped cream, marshmallows, chocolate shavings and more chocolate and cream?' Dave asked charmingly, leaning forward.

'No way!'

**5 mins later**

Drinking triple flavoured hot chocolate with whipped cream, marshmallows, chocolate shavings and more chocolate and cream. It's about the yummiest thing I have ever tasted. And as Dave's family, we got it free! There was another reason for this, but neither Dave nor his extremely good looking uncle would tell me.

'Gee, do you fancy my uncle?' Dave asked amused.

'No, absolutely not.'

'What's the problem? I fancy your mum, so it's only fair, right?'

'Yes, but you also fancy the Queen,' I pointed out. 'I've had tea with her and I'll tell you, quite frankly, she's not your type.'

Dave raised an eyebrow, so (with a struggle – I didn't realize it was so hard!) I raised my opposite one.

'You've had tea with the Queen?'

'In my head we were eating Jammy Dodgers,' I explained.

'Georgia, you are quite sensationally mad,' Dave said fondly, taking a sip of his drink which left him with a cream moustache. I laughed.

'You have a moustache,' I smirked.

'You've had one for the last minute, it rather suits you,' Dave retorted, smiling annoyingly. I gasped and grabbed my napkin, wiping my upper lip whilst glaring at Dave. Okay, now I am officially embarrassed. I wish one of those crap Darlek things would come and exterminate me.

Actually, no I don't. That would be beyond _merde_.

'Can I get you kids anything else?' call me Ryan (the sexy uncle) asked.

'Your messiest chocolate cake,' Dave requested, grinning evilly at me. Ryan smiled (phorr) and then went off to fulfil his annoying nephews order.

'Why is it you have an uncle like him and I'm stuck with the bald coot Eddie?'

'You're uncle Eddie's a laugh,' Dave shrugged, horrifying me.

'I don't know which planet you live on, but it's clearly not Earth.'

'That's easy; I live on Planet Horn where multiple copies of me worship the gorgeous Sex Kitty.' Damn it, now I'm blushing!

'Right, well, urrr…' Great, now I'm Ellen.

'I can't wait to see you in your dress, Kitty,' Dave said randomly. 'I hope it does you nunga-nunga's justice.'

'Pervert!'

'And don't you love it?' he winked.

Ryan brought the cake then, a gooey, delicious looking thing that in no situation should I eat during a date.

It does look delicious though…

**3 min later**

'Taste good?' Dave asked with a smirk as I spooned some of the cake into my mouth. I nodded.

'Excellent,' I agreed.

'Now, Kitty Kat, I must speak to you about a very serious matter.' Did my heart just flutter a bit then? 'As they are only human, a lot of girls will probably try to dance with me on Saturday, you mustn't get jealous okay?' I rolled my eyes, and there was me thinking that he was about to say something sweet.

'Unlikely,' I said sarcastically, although I'm positive that any girl I catch dancing with Dave will have her head ripped off.

'Awe, way to break my heart, kitty.'

'You'll survive.'

'Only if you kiss me better,' he grinned. 'Come on, or do you want me to _die_?' I blushed, glancing around the café. It was fairly empty, and nobody was paying us any attention, but still! Did Dave really want me to kiss him? He wasn't joking, right? Dave tapped his cheek lightly, 'right here.'

'You're not going to die,' I said, blushing. Dave pouted.

'I might do, and you wouldn't want to be dateless on Saturday would you? Go on Gee, just a peck on the cheek. Pretty please?' Have I ever mentioned how pathetic it is when a guy tries to flutter his eyelashes and act cute. Vair pathetic, but oddly sweet at the same time.

Okay Dave, I'll play your silly games.

Climbing to my feet I walked over to Dave and leaned down, ready to kiss him on the cheek (well, actually I was planning on licking him, just to annoy him). At the last minute however, Dave cocked his lead to the side, letting our lips meet. For a second I was frozen, surprised by his sneaky ninja-ness, but it's almost impossible not to snog Dave back, especially as we haven't kissed properly in so long.

**2 mins later**

How have I survived without lip nibbling?

I'd forgotten how good of a kisser Dave really was. He's superb really, 100 out of 10.

**1 min later**

'Mmmm you taste of chocolate,' Dave mumbled as he finally drew away (far too early).

I did my best goldfish impression.

'You look a little shocked Gee, maybe now _I_ should kiss _you_ better?' Before I could answer, Dave's lips were back on mine, his arms snaking around my waist to pull me closer to him.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: ****There's going to be about 2 or 3 more chapters to this, and an epilogue. **

**I'm not to sure about this chapter (I think I say that every time I update now, lol) but here it anyway. I just want to finish this fic, because unfortunately I seem to have lost my flow for it. **

**Review x**

**Ahoy there PANTS!**

**Sixteen**

**Friday**

**10 am**

Woke up after a _strange_ dream.

Not so much bad strange though. Just… strange.

**10.01**

I was standing at the alter in a wedding dress, but the church was empty. Also, my nunga-nunga's were normal sized, rather than extra laaaaarge as they are thanks to my beloved Mutti.

Then Dave came in wearing a toga (I ask you!). He was grinning all sexy like, but when he saw my normal sized nungas he stumbled back, clutching his heart.

'Blimey, Georgia, I think half of you is missing!'

'Don't you like them?' I asked. 'I got them shrunk especially for the wedding. I wouldn't fit in my dress otherwise.'

Dave nodded wisely, like a wise old man with a beard. He even stroked the imaginary beard as he stared at my nungas.

'Do you think they're too small?' I asked Dave, worried.

'Do they still go nunga nunga?' Dave asked. I nodded. 'Then they're fine.'

'Where is everyone?' I asked Dave, staring around the empty church.

'Everyone heard that your vati and Uncle Eddie were going to do a strip tease in the street, so they went to that instead.'

'Oh. But you came here?'

'Of course,' Dave nodded. 'You can't get married if my sexiness is not here to marry you after all, my spoon cake.' _Spoon cake_?? Fair dos.

'Who shall marry us?' I asked, acting like one of those fair maidens from one of those naff plays.

'Never worry!' the original Sex God called, swinging down to the alter from the window. He was dressed as Robin Hood for some reason. 'I shall marry you!'

'Awesome!' Dave said cheerfully, just as the church doors flew open and Johnny Depp, Tom Cruise, Orlando Bloom and Leonardo Decaprio strolled into the church.

'We're not late are we?' Orlando asked, sitting down in the front row.

'Nope, just on time!' Dave grinned, high fiving each of the sexy celebs. I just stared at them.

'Dave,' I hissed. 'How long have you known them?'

'Me and Leo go well back,' Dave shrugged. 'He introduced me to some of the guys.'

'Oh.'

'So, are you ready to get married?' Robbie asked, adjusting his Robin Hood hat.

'Yes,' Dave and I replied in unison.

'I can't hear you!' Robbie said.

'Yes!' Dave and I shouted.

'That's better,' Robbie said. From no where our priest come Robin Hood come sexy ex boyfriend pulled out a sheep. 'Mr Sheep, if you'd please.'

'We are gathered here today to bring together, _bah_, Dave and Georgia, _bah_!' the sheep began, as Robbie slipped a pair of glasses over its eyes. Dave took my hand in his as we listened to the sheep.

'I promise to look after your PANTS and snog you everyday,' Dave vowed, looking into my eyes.

'I promise to – hey! That sheep's eating my dress!'

The sheep stopped eating my dress and pronounced us husband and wife. 'You may now, _bah_, kiss the wife.'

Just as I went to kiss Dave he held up his hand to stop me. 'Hold on, just need to take out my teeth,' he said.

**10.30**

On the phone.

'Dave?'

'Yes, sex kitty?'

'You don't wear false teeth do you?'

'That depends, do you like false teeth? Also, do wind up, joke false teeth count?'

'Definitely not, to both,' I said quickly.

'Why do you ask?' Dave asked happily. _Sigh_, he has such a dreamy voice.

'No reason. And Dave?'

'Yes, kitty kat?'

'You would never let a sheep marry you, would you?'

'…what?'

'Nothing,' I said. 'Will you be round soon?'

'Wild horses couldn't stop me,' Dave promised. 'I'll be away laughing on a fast camel now, see you soon kitty.'

'TTFN.' I hung up the phone and sighed. Can my life get any better? Dave and I are finally official snog partners. It's amazing. Beyond the valley of amazing.

**10.47**

'Georgia are you just going to stand by the phone and sigh all day?' Vati asked loudly, his charming red face glaring at me.

'Non, my dear vati,' I answered. 'I have to prepare myself for the Hornmeister.'

'What the bloody hell are you on about now?' he demanded.

'Bob, dear, leave her alone. Her boyfriend will be round soon,' Mutti said, amazingly saving me for once in her life. I guess she can be nice when she wants to be.

Now, what to wear?

**11.30**

I've only just finished getting ready. Dave should be here any minute. I hope I look okay, I mean, I think I do, but…

Gah! Maybe I should change?

**11.34**

'Georgia, phone!' Mutti called. I wonder if it's Dave? I hope not, if it's Dave then that means he's far enough away that he needs to call. If he's far enough away that he needs to call, then that means he's not here.

'Coming,' I yell, hurrying down. 'Hello?' I gasp, picking up the phone.

'Dave's not coming,' a cold voice said. Huh?

'Who is this?' I asked.

'Hollie,' the wicked witch of the west replied. Damn, I thought I'd heard the last of her. And what does she mean by Dave's not coming?!

'What do you mean?' I asked, worried. I hope Hollie isn't like one of those psychos in horror movies who goes insane and kidnaps her ex and tortures his new girlfriend!

'He's back with me,' she said spitefully. 'I'm at his house now; he's just popped in the shower.' I froze up; she must be lying right? 'You don't believe me do you?'

'Of course not!'

'Davey!' she called in her horribly girlie voice.

'What?' I just managed to work out Dave call back. I almost dropped the phone. Dave's not coming? He's with her…? No…

I didn't hear what Hollie called back to him, but I heard what she said to me afterwards. 'I must go, I'm about to join him.'

I stared at the phone for ages before finally hanging up. This couldn't be true right? After all Dave said yesterday… He promised he'd come round today, yet he's at home, having a shower… with her?!

'Georgia? What's wrong?' Mutti asked. I ignored her and flew up the stairs, shutting myself in my room and crying into my pillow.

**12.00**

Knock on the door. I ignored it, but the olds were home and I heard Vati (eventually) getting off his fat arse to answer it.

I wasn't sure who it is until I heard the knock on my door.

'Georgia?' Dave asked.

'Go away,' I mumbled into my pillow. Dave opened the door.

'What's the matter kitty? I'm only half an hour late, right? You can't have missed me that much,' he said lightly.

'Hollie phoned,' I said, sitting up. Dave looked nervous.

'Oh, really?'

'Yes. She phoned from your house while you were in the shower.'

'Shower?' he asked, confused.

'She said she was about to join you.'

'That little – ' Dave growled angrily. 'Georgia, look,' he tried to take my hands softly in his own but I pulled away. 'Just as I was about to leave, Hollie turned up. She refused to leave till we talked, that's why I was late. She must have phoned you when I was getting her jumper that's been in my closet for the last few months.'

I sniffed, unsure of whether to believe him.

'No wonder she tried to hold me up,' Dave muttered furiously. 'I've had enough of that little – '

'You aren't back together with her?' I asked quietly, feeling like an idiot as I furiously wiped at my puffy eyes.

'Of course not, silly. I love you Georgia.'

Oh, I think my heart just stopped.

'Georgia?'

There it goes.

'I love you too, Dave!' I cried, throwing my arms around him. 'Now, can I help you kill Hollie?'

'It wouldn't be the same without you,' he grinned. 'But should we wait until after the wedding tomorrow? I don't think Rosie would forgive us if we got arrested before her big day.'

With a laugh I nodded, letting my lips brush lightly with Dave's.

**8.30pm **

Had a marvy day with Dave, but Hollie **must** die. Horribly.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: ****Gah! Sorry, I've been distracted with reading Cardcaptors Sakura and doing art, otherwise I would have gotten this out sooner! **

**Chapter eighteen (the next one) is the last, but there will also be an epilogue, so I guess that makes two more chapters… heh. **

**Weddings, as far as I'm concerned, are horrible to write. So I didn't go into detail, sorry =( **

**Review x**

**Ahoy there PANTS!**

**Seventeen**

**Saturday **

**Crack of dawn (8.30 am)**

**Operation Wedding Bells and Horns!!!**

Libby has being singing ever since she woke up. It's cute, but really, really annoying! Even Mutti and Vati seem annoyed by it. They are trying to silence her excitement by feeding her chocolate – not the wisest of ideas, I'm sure.

But yey! Finally the day of the wedding has arrived! Rosie and Sven are to be married!

**2 mins later**

I wonder is Roro will become a proper house wife? I shudder at the thought of her in an apron baking cakes and dusting.

It seems more likely that she'll spend her days sewing Sven bright and flamboyant trousers.

**1 min later**

After Dave left last night, the Ace Gang met up to celebrate Rosie's last night of freedom. Basically we wore horns and did the 'let's go down to the disco' dance for an hour.

It was fun. We did all cry a little bit though. Roro getting married is a big thing. Huge! Especially if you consider the fact that she's marrying Sven the giant Viking.

**8.45**

'Hurry up Gee, you're meant to be round Rosie's at 9.30, right?' Mutti said as I slowly munched on my poptart breakfast, trying to calm my nerves. If I feel this nervous, I wonder how Roro feels?

'Mutti, I'm getting ready round Rosie's, so calm down.'

'Don't take that tone with your mother,' Vati snapped. Sorry, take what tone exactly? Why do I live in a house with loons? They're getting as bad a grandvati, soon I shall have to send them to an old peoples home.

'Bob, leave her be. Georgia, take Libs with you when you go round Rosie's.'

What?! Why?!

**9.36**

Libby and me have been round Rosie's for five minutes and we're already caught up in the panicky mess.

Apparently Rosie had asked Mutti if Libby, as her flower girl, could get ready round hers. Instead of trying to prepare herself, Rosie is already covering Libby with flowers – not quite what being a flower girl entails, but Libs looks ecstatic, so who am I to judge. Besides, she looks quite adorable with flowers threaded into her hair and in her (hand made by Rosie) flower weaved dress.

'Rosie,' Mrs Mees called frantically. 'I need to do your make up!'

'And hair!' a cousin or someone called, holding up a hairbrush in a dramatic gesture. If this was a cartoon, both of them would have stars in their eyes and love hearts radiating from them right now. Quite sad really.

'They are tres annoying,' Rosie muttered to me as she adjusted a flower in Libby's hair. 'Please save me.'

'What are they trying to do?' I whispered back.

'Mutti is refusing to let me wear my new rainbow beard,' Rosie said quite sadly, making me almost (key word is almost) feel sorry for her. Not that I understand why anyone would want to wear a fake bard on their wedding, but hey ho! 'They won't quit gibbering on about how it's 'not proper' for a bride.'

'What about the whole Horn business.'

'Ah, I put my foot down with a firm smack to the head on the horn business,' Rosie said proudly. 'I said I would have the humpty-dumpty with them and refuse to let them dress me at all if they took away my horn.'

'Did it work?'

'Almost,' we both laughed. 'They made me a special horn. It's quite pretty, wanna see?'

'Ja!' I agreed happily, glad to see Rosie in such high spirits (not that she's normally sad or anything. Rosie is like the craziest, happiest person I know!). Rosie finished adjusting Libby's last flower and then dragged me up the stairs and to her bedroom.

Hanging up in her room was a very pretty, medieval (I think it was meant to be Viking) wedding dress. Rosie moved straight past the dress, excitedly picking up a very eccentric but pretty wedding crown/horn.

'HORN!' Rosie cried out happily, thrusting it down on her head. I laughed at her crazy enthusiasm. She is such a strange pally, but I aime her muchio.

Just then Mrs M and the cousin person burst into the room, demanding that they be allowed to dress Rosie.

'Ah, Georgia dear, Mrs M said, turning to me. 'We want to do your hair and make up too, but perhaps it would be best if you get dressed first?'

I went to respond but a loud yell of 'HORNNNN' from downstairs interrupted me. The Ace Gang has landed!

'I'll go and – ' Rosie started to say, before being pushed down into a chair.

'Georgia will look after your bridesmaids. Sit!'

Sending the very moody looking Rosie an apologetic look, I rushed downstairs to meet the gang. Everyone looked in very high spirits. This is beyond marvy!

'We must go down to the disco!' Jools announced as I approached them. We did a quick go down to the disco and then allowed ourselves to be rushed away by nervy b relatives.

As I made my way up the stairs I saw Libs bossing around an elderly loon. Looks like someone's having fun!

**11.30**

The Ace Gang looks beyond marvy! Even Jas who has that annoying fringe! We're all in Viking blue gowns with horns on our elegantly styled heads. Vikings galore!

Of course, none of us compare to Rosie. She looks (and not in a lesbian way, mon fool pallys) quite beautiful, and very Viking like.

'Wow!' we all chimed when her Mutti finally let us see her. Then we all rushed into excited rants at 100 miles per hour. It was rather marvy.

'You look, and like, wow, and… you know?' Ellen stuttered, surprising us all (we thought she had lost that annoying stutter!).

'Oh JA! Merci!' Rosie beamed.

Jas threw her arms around Rosie, I think she was crying.

'You're growing up Roro!' Jas sobbed. 'Don't forget about us!'

'Idiot, how can I forget you when you're standing here? HORN!'

'I love you Rosieeeeeee!' I called frantically.

'I love you too, my Viking bearded fool!'

We all group hugged.

**12.30**

Let the wedding commence!!!!

Surprisingly everything went pretty well. Libby absolutely drowned everyone in flowers (where did she get so many anyway?), I almost fainted upon seeing Dave in his sexy Viking clothes and then again when he winked at me, and Sven looked uh… huge and Viking like. Like I said, everything went pretty well.

Dave even managed not to loose the rings!

The lads and Ace Gang near deafened the guests with our loud cheering and wolf whistles when Rosie and Sven finally kissed after their (very strange) vows.

Jas caught Rosie's bouquet (lucky bugger) and I saw her and Tom exchanging sneaky gazes. Looks like we might be having another wedding! Hurrah! I said that to Jas, I said

'Jas, as you caught the flowers, does that mean you'll be marrying Hunky? It could be a tellytubbies wedding, you know, as you're called Po and everything…' she just glared at me. Honestly, some people to appreciate kind advice.

'Kitty Kat, you look rather beautiful,' Dave said, sneakily sneaking up to me and making me jump.

'Dave!' I threw my arms around him. 'Wasn't it amazing! Everything went fabbity and look beautiful!'

'Indeed, it was clearly my sexy presence that did it.'

I rolled my eyes. Stupid male ego. But he does look quite sexy, so I shall forgive him. My very own Viking Prince.

'Say, kitty, what happened to you wearing a beard? I was quite excited about seeing the bridesmaids in them.'

'Rosie's mum refused. We are wearing them for the party!'

'Excellent! I shall make a point to mention how sexy you all look in my speech.'

'You better,' I smirked, letting him lead me over to where the lads and gang stood.

'Georgia!' Jas called, all teary eyed. She threw her arms around me. 'Wasn't it amazing?!' Looks like she's forgiven me for the tellytubbies comment – that was quick.

'The party shall be even better! Let's head over now, mon pallies!' We all linked arms, forming a huge people chain that nobody would be able to pass.

As we entered the hall, Mabs turned to face us all. 'Ladies, ready your beards!' We all pulled out our special wedding beards. 'Dress!'

Rosie and Sven entered the hall just as we each finished attaching our beards. Her face lit up as she saw our gesture.

'Beards!' she cried cheerfully. As maid of honour, I took responsibility in handing over to her the extra long rainbow coloured one which she eagerly attached. 'Excellent, now I am whole again!'

'JA!' Sven agreed, throwing her over his shoulder.

**3 pm**

'Attention!' Everyone stopped and turned as Dave, who had been attempting to tap his wine glass, accidently smashed it. He smiled sheepishly and placed down the broken remains. 'Ahoy there PANTS!' Dave greeted, shocking much of the guest list. 'I would like to make a speech now, so here it is! Sven is a giant Viking who is rather sexy, if you like that kind of thing, which I don't,' he winked at me. 'But Rosie, as his beard wearing, Viking loving wife, obviously does, and she is perfect for him and the two, I'm sure, will still be complete weirdo's when they are an old Viking married couple. Also, the bridesmaids look rather dashing in their beards, do they not? But best of all is the bride in her rainbow one! Pip pip! That's about it, thank you! I'm away laughing on a fast camel now!'

Rosie, Sven, the lads and the ace gang all burst out cheering loudly. Most of the other guests hesitated, shocked, before clapping politely along.

**2 mins later**

'That was a fab speech, Dave,' I told my official snog partner.

'I thought you'd like it, kitty. Now, I think there's a small matter of a dance?'

'Oui,' I agreed, pulling my arms around his shoulders as his hands snaked around my waist. 'And there is also a small matter of discussing plans of revenge for a certain evil ex?'

Dave placed a finger to my lips, smiling mischievously. 'Later Kitty Kat, but for now, I think there is a small matter of a well earned kiss.' I barely had time to prepare myself before Dave's lips pressed against mine.

Yey! Lip nibbling time!


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: I am sooo sorry! I should have updated ages ago! I am useless, I know! I had a hard time writing this, as is probably very evident. In the end I used 'You're the PANTS that I want' to help me – boy does this sequel suck compared to that!**

**I decided against the epilogue – sorry! This is the final chapter. The epilogue was going to be a few months later, but there would be no point to it, and I have no idea what I could write anyway. **

**Thank you so much to all of you who stuck with me through this fic - which took me ages to write because I lost my motive for it not long after starting. Thanks to all reviews, and people who faved and alerted. You guys are tops! I wish I could have written a better sequel for you, but at least I've finally finished it. Maybe one day I will write another Georgia Nicolson fic (nothing to do with this one though) but no promises. Depends on my mood and such. **

**Anyway, much love! You guys have been fab! x**

**Ahoy there PANTS!**

**Eighteen**

**Sunday**

**10.30**

**Operation revenge time**

'So, mon pally, what's the plan?' Rosie asks eagerly down the phone. Baby J only knows why she is calling me on her honeymoon, but then, this is Rosie we're talking about.

'I'm not sure, I'm meeting up with Dave in a bit, I'm sure he'll come up with something fab!'

'I wish I could be there for it,' Roro says longingly.

Le gasp!

'You're on your honeymoon!'

'I know,' Rosie says cheerfully. 'It's great! Still, it's a shame I'm going to miss such fabulous revenge! I still think you should wait till me and Sven get back!'

'Sven would actually be marvy,' I laugh, imagining Sven helping in my revenge against Hollie. I don't think Hollie would see him coming; Sven is the most unexpected person in the world.

'Indeed!' Rosie laughs. 'You must fill me in on everything when I get back. Oh, by the way! I'm going to get you all fabnosityfull gifts. You'll love them!'

'Cant wait,' I say, just as a loud knock sounds on the door. Before I can walk over to it, the letter box opened.

'Kitty kat, kitty kat, let me in, or I'll huff and I'll puff!'

'Ooer, I should let you go,' Rosie says. 'Your Dave God has landed.'

'Come in Dave!' I yelled. 'Okay, have a great honeymoon,' I tell Rosie as the door opened and Dave lets himself in.

'Is that Rosie?' Dave asks. 'Hey Rosie! Hope you and Sveny-kins are having a horn blowing good time!'

'Ooer!' Rosie and I say at exactly the same time.

'HORN!' I hear Sven yell down the line. 'Okay, tatty bye Gee Gee, speak soon, and have a marvy time revenging! Don't forget to wear your beard!'

With another yell of Horn, and some giggling, the line goes dead.

'Finally got you to myself, eh?' Dave smirks, as I put down the phone.

'You only just got here,' I point out, not that I am complaining when Dave wraps his arms around my waist and plants a soft kiss on my lips. Phorr! He really is a Dave God. I can't believe how lucky I am.

Vair vair lucky!

With knobs on (Ooer!)!

'So kitty, what's first? Snogging or revenge?'

Oh Giddy God. Both sound doubly tempting.

Couldn't we do both? Surely Hollie watching us snog would be revenge enough? But then again, Hollie doesn't deserve the privilege of watching us snog. Not that I'd actually want her to anyway. That would be weird.

And slightly disturbing.

'So where's your Mutti?'

'Don't tell me you came round to chat up my Mutti?' I demand, trying (and failing) to wriggle free from Dave.

'Don't be a prat with wings,' he laughs. 'I'm wondering where your Vati is too, and Libs for that matter.'

'I think Libby wants to marry you,' I say absently, giving up on trying to escape Dave. Oui, I have little will power, so sue me!

'Ah well, I shall have to take her on a date and see how it goes.'

Oh hells biscuits! If Dave starts to date my baby sister I will actually commit suicide. Or date spotty Norman; I can't decide which is worse.

**30 secs later**

Blimey.

I must have lost my mind! I can't decide what's worse between Spotty Norman and death??! Jools would be so disappointed.

**10 secs later**

Blimey O'Reillys trousers! What is wrong with me?

**5 secs later**

'What is wrong with you?'

Get out of my thoughts Dave!

'Huh?'

'I lost you for a moment,' he grins. 'I thought you'd died.'

'If only,' I mumble, shaking all disturbing images of spotty Norm from my mind. Actually though, I hear Norm's quite good looking these days. I think Mabs told me… then again, could have been Jools.

It wasn't Mrs Fringe, that's for sure.

**10 secs later**

Speaking of Mrs Fringe, where is she in my hour of need? She should be here to help me plot my revenge. I honestly don't know what I can do to Hollie. I like to think I'm not a cruel person, but she deservers some form of revenge.

'So, miss kitty kat, have you an answer?' Dave asks playfully. 'Snogs or revenge?'

'Both?' I ask hopefully. Dave laughs.

'You haven't planned any revenge, have you?'

'…Not exactly, no.'

'That won't do,' he grins. 'After all, Hollie did try to tear us apart.'

'Yes, but…'

'And then she lied and said we were showing together,' Dave continues, smirk still in place. Damn him and his distractions. I just want some lip nibbling action!

'Plus, she's jealous of you nunga nungas,' Dave added.

'What?!' huh? That was random.

'Just checking that you were listening. Probably true though.'

I laugh and take Dave's hand (I don't mean I take it from him, you fool! That would be strange!).

'Maybe I should drop the revenge?' I ask, feeling oddly grown up (gasp!). 'I've already won, right? I have you, she doesn't.'

'That's true,' Dave smirks, squeezing my hand and leaning in to plant a quick peck on my lips. 'You really don't have any idea what to do, do you?'

'None what so ever,' I sigh sadly, and I was so looking forward to revenge as well!

'And you're really okay with letting Hollie get away with it?' Dave asks. I shrug, not really sure on the answer.

Yes, Hollie needs to die horribly (not really die, I'm not that cruel!) for being such a bitch. Though, by taking revenge, wouldn't that sink me to her level?

Oh my giddy God! Please don't tell me I'm doing the honourable thing and being grown up about this?!

This is Hollie!

Hollie!

Ugh!

Dave walks over to the phone and picks it up.

'What are you doing?' I ask. Instead of answering, Dave dials in a number and holds the phone out to me. I hesitate for a second before picking accepting it.

Blimey O'Reillys trousers! It's ringing!

But who is it ringing??!

'Hello?' someone answers. I recognise the voice as Hollie's!

I shoot Dave a glare – the git.

'Hello?' Hollie repeats.

'Ah yes, bonjourno!' I greet, feeling like an idiot.

'Georgia?' Hollie asks, a scowl in her voice.

'Oui. Dave just called you and handed me the phone,' I explain.

'You're with Dave?!' she sounds horrified.

'I am,' I agree. 'We are official snog partners. I just wanted you to know so you don't make a fool of yourself trying it on with him again, when he's clearly not interested.'

'Who are you to say that?' Hollie demands angrily. 'I'll have you know that until you came into the picture we were happy.'

'Not true,' I argue. 'Hadn't you already broken up before I returned?' Dave nods in confirmation.

'We were on a break!' Hollie argues. 'We would have got back together if you…!' Oh marvy, I think she's about to have a nervy B! Her voice is cracking, I think she's about to cry!

'I'm sorry Hollie,' I say, surprising myself. 'But hey, you'll find someone else, right? Just leave Dave alone though, okay?'

'I won't do anything vicious to try and break you up,' Hollie says. 'But I won't give up either.'

'Agreed,' I sigh, knowing it's the best offer I'll get. 'Goodbye Hollie, and good luck.'

She hangs up without responding.

'What did you agree on?' Dave asks curiously, wrapping his arms around me again and kissing my cheek.

'We're going to share you,' I tease. 'She has you weekends.'

'Absolutely not,' Dave says softly. 'I'm yours day and night, for the rest of your life, kitty. After all, that's what a Hornmeister is for, right?'

'Right!' I agree, brining my lips to Dave's for a fabulous kiss.

I have my Hornmeister, and I am happy. What else do I need?

We may have had ups and downs in our relationship, but right now I'm fairly certain that we have overcome everything. I believe Dave when he says that he's here for the rest of my life; and even if things do change in the future, who cares?! That's the future, and right now I only want to live for the present, and my present is nothing without the Ace Gang and Dave.

This is the end of my diary. But rest assured, it is not the end of my adventures. I'm sure you'll hear more of my whacky life eventually, and even if you don't, it's been a pleasure amusing you, mon fab readers!

From me it's goodnight, goodbye and au revoir.

Now leave me in peace to snog Dave!


End file.
